My epic battle with a fly

[Pondlife]

So you just happened to have an 'old ski glove' handy as you were sitting in front of your computer on a Saturday morning when the missus was out?

[Sysman]

I let the cats chase them

I had a dog that used to go for them. Wasps and bees too - ever seen a dog grimace when its tongue gets stung?

Vases were kept in safe places.

[BrilloPad]

I let the cats chase them

Alas mine discovered they taste minging. Which is a pity.

[Zippy]

Alas mine discovered they taste minging. Which is a pity.

Indeed. Thankfully mine are too stupid, so keep chasing (and getting stung by) flies, wasps and bees.

[xoggoth]

You barsteward SAS, killing a NICE little fly.

It is so much easier just to catch flies and put them outside. Just get a plastic bottle and cut off top. As it is transparent they do not notice if you move slowly. Put it right up to them and then move hand in from other side. Voila, trapped fly. Release outside to enjoy its short little life.

So what that they feed on sh1t and corpses? Who wouldn't, given the chance?

[EternalOptimist]

The little buggers CAN be a bother. Yesterday I chased one around the bedroom , didnt kill it, bit cornered it in the shower cubicle.

Later on, I went for a shower in the spare bedroom , then checked up on the fly. It was sitting in the main shower at a little fly-computer, coding VB and saying 'wheres me coffee like'
Meantime I puked on the breakfast table and ate the wifes arm

do you think I have swine flu

[suityou01]

I've just killed a fly after an epic battle. So there I was quietly doing some maths in my study when this blue bottle (who I shall henceforth call Einstein) flew in through the open window.
"No problem" I thought, flicking the glove of death (old ski glove) usually does the trick. Not with Einstein. I swear this fly was taunting me, flying just out of reach. Eventually I got the heavy artillery out (large dish towel) but still it lived.

Finally I cornered it to a window. Fired the artillery (flicked the tea towel). Missed and broke a vase standing on the ledge. By now I swear this fly is laughing at me.

Anyway, long story short, the glove of death finally got it. Arrogant bastard landed on my desk innit?

Hey ho. Off to buy a vase I go afore I get in trouble with the missus.

It's always a pleasure to hear the mighty Sasguru getting outwitted by an insect.

[realityhack]

So you just happened to have an 'old ski glove' handy as you were sitting in front of your computer on a Saturday morning when the missus was out?

Glove full of vaseline, by any chance? Sas is Curley in Of Mice And Men, AICMFP.

[minestrone]

It's the weapons grade tea towel that was the give away. I mean who has a tea towel that can crack a vase?

Sorry sas.

[TimberWolf]

Your fly was nowhere near as fast or intelligent as the fly that was buzzing me the other day. With its high IQ and fleet of wing, it fancied its chances of flying into my head with impunity all night. Big mistake. After stalking it for a while, getting a handle on its level of speed and cunning, I cornered it in the bathroom where, despite some encouragement on my part, it expressed a disinterest in the freaking open window. So I caught him out with plan B - the naked hand (nice to still have the touch) - and chucked him out of the aforementioned portal with some velocity, and boy was he mad at that. Human 1, fly nil