Divorce while a contractor?

[TykeMerc]

She has all the aces thou doesn't she? She knows how much i love the girls and even thou she said she would never use them against me she is right now.

That's hogwash, she will use any weapon against you and your daughters are a very easy weapon to use, the easiest and most devastating in fact. She doesn't have all the aces, but she desperately wants you to believe that she has.

Yes i am a drama queen but my emotions are all over the shop!

Nothing wrong with being a drama queen in these circumstances and if your emotions weren't all over the place you wouldn't be human.

BrilloPad has advised you to move back into the marital home immediately, follow his advice. He's something of an expert on these things with his F4J experience.

[Moscow Mule]

2p about your marriage
1) Accept, now, that your marriage is ****ed.
2) She obviously been looking for an out for a while - pretty ******* heartless if you've got a 1 yo kid.
3) Even if she does give up this fella, you'll never be able to trust her again. Include this information when you start seeing that counsellor you're going to get a referral to see from your GP tomorrow.
4) Tell your wife that you won't support her lifestyle, and she can go **** herself if she thinks you're going to pay her housekeeping to go and **** somebody else.
5) Tell her that as a contractor you can structure your affairs so she won't ever see a penny of your money. The girls might, but she won't.
6) I assume that the cuts to your arm will disappear soon, as will the scars. Deny this ever happened. Do not link yourself personally in anyway to this forum (put a fake email address up now and remove any personably identifiable information now)

£2.50 about your business
1) Put an expense claim into your company now. Preferably for as close to the whole amount in the co bank. I know it's not much as you're within IR35 and you take most of your money as salary.
2) Do not invoice through your current company any more (I know your contract is up this Friday, if you want to do the last one for convenience then that's up to you)
3) Set up a new company ASAP, run all future business through this new company.

£150 about you.
1) Don't do anything stupid.

[DodgyAccountant]

I haven't read all of the thread so excuse me if said before.

If you are paying for your own lawyers, use them for financials but not children - they are a waste of money and time. You will get as good a result or better by yourself, save money and stop delays.

You can take someone else into court as a McKenzie friend as support. If you cannot find someone yourself, try Families Need Fathers. Do not lose any ground - ground lost now with children will be very hard to make up in future.

You have a right under the convention on human rights to a family life - the courts know this.

I wish you well.

DA

[alser20]

Pleo, do you know who "the other guy" is ?

Al

[Paddy]

2p about your marriage
1) Accept, now, that your marriage is ****ed.
2) She obviously been looking for an out for a while - pretty ******* heartless if you've got a 1 yo kid.
3) Even if she does give up this fella, you'll never be able to trust her again. Include this information when you start seeing that counsellor you're going to get a referral to see from your GP tomorrow.
4) Tell your wife that you won't support her lifestyle, and she can go **** herself if she thinks you're going to pay her housekeeping to go and **** somebody else.
5) Tell her that as a contractor you can structure your affairs so she won't ever see a penny of your money. The girls might, but she won't.
6) I assume that the cuts to your arm will disappear soon, as will the scars. Deny this ever happened. Do not link yourself personally in anyway to this forum (put a fake email address up now and remove any personably identifiable information now)

£2.50 about your business
1) Put an expense claim into your company now. Preferably for as close to the whole amount in the co bank. I know it's not much as you're within IR35 and you take most of your money as salary.
2) Do not invoice through your current company any more (I know your contract is up this Friday, if you want to do the last one for convenience then that's up to you)
3) Set up a new company ASAP, run all future business through this new company.

£150 about you.
1) Don't do anything stupid.

I would also add; try and get you new limited company in the name of some trusted relitives or friends.

[BrilloPad]

Well..............I feel lost now
Got given a "contract" titled "Guidelines for us to live in the same house".

Detailing lots of things, about me not walking naked around the house, sleeping in the lounge these are all things i must do. Saying my parents are not welcome in the house when she is there WTF?

Her setting up her own bank account and me paying her housekeeping for derv, food clothes (So i have to pay for her to swan off when she feels like it).

The best is yet to come, "I am embarking on a new relationship which has not included sex so far........."

I needed to post it is very lengthy but basically restricts me in what i can and cannot do in our house, and dosn't really mention restricting her at all.

Phoenix

Personally I would move back in anyway.

Then work on the relationship.

I would pay her in cash : remind her who is boss.

[BrilloPad]

1) Don't do anything stupid.

Very sound advice.

[pleomax]

Pleo, do you know who "the other guy" is ?

Al

I have a number i took down when i read the messages on the phone. That is in a secure place. With a copy of the draft "agreement" she gave me last night.

[pleomax]

I would also add; try and get you new limited company in the name of some trusted relitives or friends.

Wouldn't it be difficult to set another one up? I am still registered at the marital home address and have no plans to change that.

The wife has a habit of opening mail addressed to me.

[pleomax]

Then work on the relationship.

Last night when she had given me the paperwork she was very hostile and more interested in watching tv then talking so i took the paperwork and went ot give her a hug, she pulled back and i just went.

This morning she calls me and says she was sorry for being hostile towards me last night, she finds it difficult to talk to me as she is not sure how i might react!

she said to me this morning that we have no hope of the relationship as husband and wife working, but feels we shoudl reamin friends.

I watch the apprentice 5 times last night and only at 3 am this morning when it ended for the 5 time did i relise what had actually happened.