Divorce while a contractor?

[BrilloPad]

So you think a person who takes a knife to his own arm is fit to be around children like?
What if his kids has seen him do that - he did it in the kitchen didn't he?
They will have surely heard all the madness and screaming, and more than likely came downstairs and saw all the blood?
At the very least they will have saw their mam AND dad in tatters - that's not good for them. No way!

I firmly believe that kids are better off having their parents seperate, than together in this kind of destructive relationship.

He needs to sort himself out first, so that he can be a good, stable dad to them in the future.

I dont suggest doing it again. Its a very bad thing.

However he was pushed : his wife has to share some of the blame. If she was not there this would not have happened.

If she is that bothered she should move out. The kids stay in the marital home.

**IF** it were the case the moving out did not severly weaken your position then there would be a case for keeping away from the kids. But its not clear : kids often want to be with their parents under the most terrible conditions. For instance, my kids love their mother though they have huge problems with her. If you dont believe me : ask CM. Want me to list the stories about her (again)?

However the advice is always always always stay put in the marital home.

In this case I happen to think that Pleomax's rmarriage is salvageable.

[BrilloPad]

To answer some of the questions here:

We are both 34 and the games consoles have been used as an escape (To much I feel for me and her).

My name is on the children’s birth cert’s.

Didn’t go back last night as she called me to say she felt unwell, I have rescheduled for this evening.

My contract ends on Friday, next week is half term. I am going to tell her how I feel and my feelings for her and how I have been neglecting her, now is a time for reconciliation.

I spent a long time last night getting my head round my true feelings for her and the children which I have kept buried for so long and other distractions have kept me from saying them.

I want this to work, and will continue to try to show her how I cherish her as a friend/wife/mother and the good things she does and continues to do until the heart in my chest beats no more.

Thank you for the posts they have allowed me to dump my feelings here.

Sounds very sensible.

But you do need to move back in asap.

Let us know how you get on.

[BrilloPad]

avoid the csa.

I could not agree more. It is best for the kids.

[SallyAnne]

I dont suggest doing it again. Its a very bad thing.

However he was pushed : his wife has to share some of the blame. If she was not there this would not have happened.

If she is that bothered she should move out. The kids stay in the marital home.

Are you for real?

So you think it's her fault that he got the knife out?

And you think at that point...at the point where your other half turns so wierd that he downs a bottle of whiskey and takes a knife to (thankfully) himself, that you shoudl leave him alone in the house with 3 kids under 7?!

Have a word with yourself man.

[PRC1964]

To answer some of the questions here:

We are both 34 and the games consoles have been used as an escape (To much I feel for me and her).

My name is on the children’s birth cert’s.

Didn’t go back last night as she called me to say she felt unwell, I have rescheduled for this evening.

My contract ends on Friday, next week is half term. I am going to tell her how I feel and my feelings for her and how I have been neglecting her, now is a time for reconciliation.

I spent a long time last night getting my head round my true feelings for her and the children which I have kept buried for so long and other distractions have kept me from saying them.

I want this to work, and will continue to try to show her how I cherish her as a friend/wife/mother and the good things she does and continues to do until the heart in my chest beats no more.

Thank you for the posts they have allowed me to dump my feelings here.

Good luck to you.

For what it's worth, my advice is to make sure that when you do meet this evening you do NOT touch a drop of alcohol. None, nothing, not even a wine gum.

Do NOT lose your temper no matter how provoked you feel. You are not there to fight but to patch things up.

[Platypus]

So you think it's her fault that he got the knife out?

Yes it was her fault - she pushed him (temporarily) over he edge of sanity by virtue of her callous behaviour and buggering about with another man.

Technically she's having an affair, see here
http://www.relationship-institute.co...article_ID=156

It's hardly surprising that the sudden spectre of losing your wife, your house and your children - forever - pushed him (temporarily) beyond the point of reason.

Cop on, SA.

EDIT: in some countries, if he'd stabbed her to death, he could have defended himself as it was a crime of passion / temporary insanity.

[SallyAnne]

Yes it was her fault - she pushed him (temporarily) over he edge of sanity by virtue of her callous behaviour and buggering about with another man.

Technically she's having an affair, see here
http://www.relationship-institute.co...article_ID=156

It's hardly surprising that the sudden spectre of losing your wife, your house and your children - forever - pushed him (temporarily) beyond the point of reason.

Cop on, SA.

EDIT: in some countries, if he'd stabbed her to death, he could have defended himself as it was a crime of passion / temporary insanity.

I've personally had the knife wielding ex fiance experience, and I've also had the suicide cry for help aswell. The Xmas day one was the best. It's fu*king lovely.

I do now of course fully accept that it was my fault for not agreeing to hand over my life completely, and for failing to realise that, as a man, he had the right to choose which way my mind should think and my heart should feel.

What a silly cow I had been for thinking I had the right to choose my own life.

[BrilloPad]

Are you for real?

So you think it's her fault that he got the knife out?

And you think at that point...at the point where your other half turns so wierd that he downs a bottle of whiskey and takes a knife to (thankfully) himself, that you shoudl leave him alone in the house with 3 kids under 7?!

Have a word with yourself man.

I think you need to read my original post. I said his wife should share the blame. I also said its very bad and must not happen again.

Main point though is to movce back in asap and do not move out again. I will keep repeating it.

[Platypus]

What a silly cow I had been for thinking I had the right to choose my own life.

Touché

[BrilloPad]

I've personally had the knife wielding ex fiance experience, and I've also had the suicide cry for help aswell. The Xmas day one was the best. It's fu*king lovely.

I do now of course fully accept that it was my fault for not agreeing to hand over my life completely, and for failing to realise that, as a man, he had the right to choose which way my mind should think and my heart should feel.

What a silly cow I had been for thinking I had the right to choose my own life.

Very sorry to hear that.

But Pleomax's case is quite different to yours. **if** you were married with kids and flirting with someone else you must accept it will make people do crazy things. The right way is to work at resolving your relationship problems. Or to seek a divorce when all else failed. Pleomax's wife has dumped on him big time : made all the worse by her being a Catholic.

Drinking always makes things worse. And violence is always wrong.