Divorce while a contractor?

[BrilloPad]

I found a way to get my dosh to the kids without getting the CSA involved, and at the same time getting the ex in a vice. If she jerked me around I had control of the dosh (she still managed to make my life a misery. lol)
in ten years she has had 75k off me , via the CSA I would have paid more and she would have gotten zippo.

BP, I never claimed to have Angels wings. it may not be legal. But its right.

As for terseness. Well, I try to avoid serious discussions, I prefer to have a laugh and a joke. Pleomax's situation is no laughing matter though, so I am a fish out of water hence no rolly eyes

I found a way of getting money to kids without CSA. The birth certificate had nothing to do with it.

[BrilloPad]

Stay out the house, you're not in any state to salvage anything - you'll just make things worse for your kids.

Anyone who follows this advice is totally mad. I mean madder than Lucy.

[BrilloPad]

I know of two men who actually got custody of the kids, both had to fight like hell. One's wife was a full on alcholic, the others' wife used him as target practice during her kitchen implement throwing hobby. The ones who's wife were just getting a bit on the side are regulars in the playground on Saturday afternoon -the only time they get to see their kids if they are lucky.

Bob Geldof lost custody though his wife was a drug user. It was only when she left the drugs in smartie packets that he got anywhere.

Someone on this board once PMed me with the most amazing custody battle that they won : in fact it was a landmark case. Alas I am sworn to secrecy : I hope one day they tell the story on here.....

[EternalOptimist]

I found a way of getting money to kids without CSA. The birth certificate had nothing to do with it.

How did you manage that BP ?
did they get involved at all ?

[Pickle2]

Bloody hell!

She's doing the right thing - you sound like a loon mate. You do know that's not normal behaviour dont you? Just for finding a few test messages? (Regardless of what you were doing looking through her phone in the first place!!!)

Stay out the house, you're not in any state to salvage anything - you'll just make things worse for your kids.
Go and see a solicitor, and get things divided up as quickly and easiy as possible.
Then put your life back together, and go and see someone about your psychological issues.

WSS.

[BrilloPad]

How did you manage that BP ?
did they get involved at all ?

Yes they were involved. Mrs BP insisted. So I used every trick in the book : and there are alot. 8 months later she had not got a penny. I offered her 8 months worth of cash. She saw common sense.

Actually I did not use too many tricks : but I would have. Basically they got my calculations wrong and wanted 5% more from me than was right. I complained : they said just pay what you think is correct and we will sort out the mess later! What a load of numpties!

Just to confirm : I despise men who dont pay for their kids. But there is a right and a wrong way of going about these things.

I am lucky : 99% of the time CSA get their way. No suprise they have caused around 80 men to commit suicide. f**kers.

Have you had dealings with the CSA?

[BrilloPad]

WSS.

And we have a second person loonier than Lucy.

[pleomax]

To answer some of the questions here:

We are both 34 and the games consoles have been used as an escape (To much I feel for me and her).

My name is on the children’s birth cert’s.

Didn’t go back last night as she called me to say she felt unwell, I have rescheduled for this evening.

My contract ends on Friday, next week is half term. I am going to tell her how I feel and my feelings for her and how I have been neglecting her, now is a time for reconciliation.

I spent a long time last night getting my head round my true feelings for her and the children which I have kept buried for so long and other distractions have kept me from saying them.

I want this to work, and will continue to try to show her how I cherish her as a friend/wife/mother and the good things she does and continues to do until the heart in my chest beats no more.

Thank you for the posts they have allowed me to dump my feelings here.

[SallyAnne]

Anyone who follows this advice is totally mad. I mean madder than Lucy.

So you think a person who takes a knife to his own arm is fit to be around children like?
What if his kids has seen him do that - he did it in the kitchen didn't he?
They will have surely heard all the madness and screaming, and more than likely came downstairs and saw all the blood?
At the very least they will have saw their mam AND dad in tatters - that's not good for them. No way!

I firmly believe that kids are better off having their parents seperate, than together in this kind of destructive relationship.

He needs to sort himself out first, so that he can be a good, stable dad to them in the future.

[EternalOptimist]

Have you had dealings with the CSA?

no.
the missus was on benefits, if I had paid the CSA, she would not have seen a penny, so the kids would have been the ones to suffer.
When they came calling, she denied knowing who the father was, despite a lot of pressure and I paid her directly. Of course once she takes that dosh, she is taking a big risk , so we have an 'understanding'.
Over ten years she has had 75k

the op was asking about the financials, thats my take on it, avoid the csa.