Sounds rough Pleo, you have my sympathies. Here is my take:
1. New guy sniffing round has clearly had some encouragement and probably considerably more.
2. No doubt there is a girlfriend somewhere telling her she shouldn't put up with whatever she doesn't like about her situation, she deserves better/to be treated like a princess.
These add up to her thinking she has a number of other options away from you. Since she will get the house and a nice allowance from you, she expects her life can continue pretty much as it is but without the annoyance of you being around, except to take the kids off her hands so she can go out with the girls/new bloke.
All things being equal, you will, if you are lucky and very compliant, get to see your kids on a regular basis, while some nobber is watching your big TV and playing uncle.
If it gets nasty/she cites danger to the kids(you have given her some grounds)/says you aren't paying enough/doesn't cooperate with the visits, your life will be in a right state. I know a case where a bloke was left with 2 hour supervised visits in a community office (which he had to pay for) after allegations of violence and danger were made.
1. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Start siphoning off cash to parents/trusted persons NOT so you don't pay for your kids but because you will need some control/bedsit deposit.
2. DON'T be tempted to do anything stupid/make threats/stop mortgages etc etc, this will be viewed hashly later.
3. Do anything you can to be given another chance/relate/cooling off period/promise you will work local/earn more blah blah blah, tell her whatever it takes basically (same as at the start when you are trying to get some). This gives you breathing space so if it does cave in anyway you can be better prepared to hand over your house and half of what you earn forever.
Keep a cool head, anything else will cause big problems later.
Good luck and remember plenty of people go through this, survive and end up with a better life later, you might too.
1. New guy sniffing round has clearly had some encouragement and probably considerably more.
2. No doubt there is a girlfriend somewhere telling her she shouldn't put up with whatever she doesn't like about her situation, she deserves better/to be treated like a princess.
These add up to her thinking she has a number of other options away from you. Since she will get the house and a nice allowance from you, she expects her life can continue pretty much as it is but without the annoyance of you being around, except to take the kids off her hands so she can go out with the girls/new bloke.
All things being equal, you will, if you are lucky and very compliant, get to see your kids on a regular basis, while some nobber is watching your big TV and playing uncle.
If it gets nasty/she cites danger to the kids(you have given her some grounds)/says you aren't paying enough/doesn't cooperate with the visits, your life will be in a right state. I know a case where a bloke was left with 2 hour supervised visits in a community office (which he had to pay for) after allegations of violence and danger were made.
1. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Start siphoning off cash to parents/trusted persons NOT so you don't pay for your kids but because you will need some control/bedsit deposit.
2. DON'T be tempted to do anything stupid/make threats/stop mortgages etc etc, this will be viewed hashly later.
3. Do anything you can to be given another chance/relate/cooling off period/promise you will work local/earn more blah blah blah, tell her whatever it takes basically (same as at the start when you are trying to get some). This gives you breathing space so if it does cave in anyway you can be better prepared to hand over your house and half of what you earn forever.
Keep a cool head, anything else will cause big problems later.
Good luck and remember plenty of people go through this, survive and end up with a better life later, you might too.
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