Divorce while a contractor?

[BrilloPad]

My breakdown was reading text messages on her phone where soomeone was sending here explicit messages, and telling her not to smile too much as pleomax will get the wrong idea!

I confronted her and said are you going out tomorrow (Sunday) to see someone else? She said no dont be so silly, I want me time.

I went down stairs and drank a bottle of whiskey down in about 5 gulps and took the biggest baddest carving knife to my arm, not to top myself as that is not in my belief but it was more of a outcry of emotion. I hate liars, I have since told her about the messages on the mobile and she has said the person has backed off.

Apparently she said i said I was going to take the children up the woods on sunday in my intoxicated state and took taht to be i was going to harm the children, ffs I love the girls and i guess all i was trying to do was show here taht we were going to have a bloody good time etc.

She is using this against me as a reason why i am not welcome in the home, part of me justs wants to pick the girls up and say there get your "freind" to look after things, see how you like the cold lifght of day when there is no pleomax working to keep everything ship shape.

But that is just me venting and love her and the children too much to do that.

To top it all (Flame proof undies on) we are both catholics and how dare she throw divorce at me! Just shows how much she thinks of her self at this time and me and the children!

I think the messages are a cry for attention. You need to go to relate with her. I think the Catholic thing backs that up. How often do you attend church? Can the priest/other churchgoer/family/friends help to mediate here?

Dont go the drink route. Its happens in most divorce cases. It will only make things far far worse. In fact mine was exceptional that I did not turn to drink.

You should not have taken the knife : dont do it again. I recommend apologizing to your wife. seriously.

Be very careful what you say about the kids. Your words were twisted. It happens alot. You will need to consider recording conversations.

Try not to focus on the 3rd party. Fix your relationship and the rest will be fine.

The kids must not leave the marital home unless you both agree. Take them without her permission and you will be really deep in the sh*t.

If you need to vent then come on the forum and troll. Or see a friend and take it out on them. You need to pull yourself together : if you cant do it for yourself then for the kids.

BP
PS If you want to switch to PMs/email then let me know.

[milanbenes]

Milan.

[BrilloPad]

Sorry to say but IMO the marriage is doomed

I disagree. It sounds more like a cry for help.

[pleomax]

We use to attend church every weekend, the wife has only been coming periodically over the last few weeks. I have been taking the children every weekend without fail.

My main concern is to give the children stability.

[NetwkSupport]

now its all unfolding i have to agree, its a doomed situation. I feel for you but you gotta be strong and make sure she doesnt f you over totally. Its clear that she is either having an emotional affair or a physical one. for me personally theres no going back from that point as she is clearly no longer putting you or your children first.

[realityhack]

Pleomax - if you can afford to I reccomend taking time off (or bench time) and concentrating on this and this alone.

Do anything you can to save the relationship. Apologise (particularly for the knife thing) and go to counselling yourself, and Relate together if possible. BPs advice is spot on here, as would be expected.

Please tell me she has no way of finding out this is you - ie CUK isn't in favourites/history. If there is a risk, delete anything she could use against you and switch to PMs.

[Mich the Tester]

We use to attend church every weekend, the wife has only been coming periodically over the last few weeks. I have been taking the children every weekend without fail.

My main concern is to give the children stability.

What kind of stability will that be with someone who threatens to get her dad and her brothers to kick tulip out their father?

The wise and well shoed Mrs Tester’s nursing motto; ‘you can’t look after anyone else if you don’t first look after yourself.’

[chef]

She sounds like a loony. Ask chef for advice. He’s had experience with loons.

Much as I'd like to offer clear and concise advice, I only had a mental gf to deal with and we lived seperately with no ties between us so for me it was a simple "no more, the end, we're finished".

With a wife, house and kids involved that's a whole different ball game IMO.

Firstly, I'd say speak with any friends you have, a break up is much easier to deal with if you have someone to talk things through with.

Secondly, get legal advice, both from the seperation and financial point of view.

Thirdly, dont go near a knife in that way again.

HTH

Chef

[milanbenes]

reality,

'Please tell me she has no way of finding out this is you - ie CUK isn't in favourites/history. If there is a risk, delete anything she could use against you and switch to PMs.'


bit late now

it's all quoted

it'll be on google within minutes


Milan.

[BrilloPad]

She sounds like a loony. Ask chef for advice. He’s had experience with loons.

Not as much experience as Bagpuss.......