Divorce while a contractor?

[SuperZ]

It time to lay that new patio

[TykeMerc]

Brillo offers very well informed advice, take it.

[milanbenes]

please tell us more, this is intriging

Milan.

[pleomax]

My breakdown was reading text messages on her phone where soomeone was sending here explicit messages, and telling her not to smile too much as pleomax will get the wrong idea!

I confronted her and said are you going out tomorrow (Sunday) to see someone else? She said no dont be so silly, I want me time.

I went down stairs and drank a bottle of whiskey down in about 5 gulps and took the biggest baddest carving knife to my arm, not to top myself as that is not in my belief but it was more of a outcry of emotion. I hate liars, I have since told her about the messages on the mobile and she has said the person has backed off.

Apparently she said i said I was going to take the children up the woods on sunday in my intoxicated state and took taht to be i was going to harm the children, ffs I love the girls and i guess all i was trying to do was show here taht we were going to have a bloody good time etc.

She is using this against me as a reason why i am not welcome in the home, part of me justs wants to pick the girls up and say there get your "freind" to look after things, see how you like the cold lifght of day when there is no pleomax working to keep everything ship shape.

But that is just me venting and love her and the children too much to do that.

To top it all (Flame proof undies on) we are both catholics and how dare she throw divorce at me! Just shows how much she thinks of her self at this time and me and the children!

[BrilloPad]

Brillo offers very well informed advice, take it.

Many thanks.

Oddly whem I was in Pleomax's position I would not have taken it. Well it was not quite the same as my ex went totally bonkers : kept threatening to report me for abusing the kids and reporting me to the police for bullying her (in fact she did the bullying). But I still should not have left until I was forced out : it made everything later alot more difficult.

I suppose lessons learnt the hard way are the most valuable.

I just hope the marriage can be saved. Its a tragedy for the kids.

[NetwkSupport]

She is the one that has the "friend" thats plays her compliments on the xbox and via mobile, not commited adultery but she is liking the idea that someone is playing her compliments

I may be off the chart here but in my experience:

FFS wake up, she is probably getting more than just compliments when your running around the country to pay for her and your childrens home.

Sounds like she has confidence issues or feels like she has missed out on a lot because she has been busy being a stay at home mother the past few years.

It could be that she needs to get her "individuality" back. Move back in, to the spare room for financial reasons incase you do end up in divorce! Try to go to relate and get to the root of the issues, remember you loved eachother once enough to want a marriage/kids so there must be a fix for this.

[pleomax]

She has some friedns who are divorced and do not get on with their ex's and i believe she has been handed a rose pair of glasses thinking i am going to be so desperate to have the girls that i will be a cheap baby sitter.

I am going to use the fact that my contract is up at the end of the week to move back in.

The worst she could do? Call the police? Get her dad and two big brothers to ruogh up pleomax? She has voiced thos options to me already, how could any one do that to the father of children? I could expect that if i was a child molester but have never laid a finger on any of the girls and have often stated that i would do time if any one hurt the girls!

[Platypus]

Got no where to put the money, i am looking for a permie role as contracting in my sector has dried up (Non IT remeber). There will be enough in there to last us 5 months (Assuming that i was still living at home etc)
...
Maybe i should be like Benny Hill and carry the cash around with me in a carrier bag?

Increase your salary (shame to pay the tax) and take the net pay out in cash. Keep it with a friend / family member. Tell her you gambled it away.

There seems to be no reconcilliation with her... but she forgets ... says it was all my fault for "getting made redundant" so she couldnt do the courses.

She is the one that has the "friend" thats plays her compliments on the xbox and via mobile, not commited adultery but she is liking the idea that someone is playing her compliments, but forgets the fact that i am running around the country earning money for the business so she can have all the flashy stuff like ipods and expensive speaker systems and looking after the children when i get home and taking them out at weekends so she has some "free" time.

Ah women have very short memories, and your situation is not helped by the "friend" egging her on, re-enforcing her feeling of being hard done by and unloved (this happened to me). Don't do what I did: don't get jealous. Instead let her make the mistakes (and she will). Tell her you're moving back (into the spare room). Cancel her cash card. Tell her to get out and get a job.

Sorry to say but IMO the marriage is doomed: you now need to protect yourself and the kids from the mess she's making. She'll regret it in a few years, but that's her look out. She had a good thing, didn't appreciate how lucky she was, and now she's going to give it all up because someone sends her texts saying (probably) "screw your husband, grab the house and the money, you deserve better".

[Mich the Tester]

She has some friedns who are divorced and do not get on with their ex's and i believe she has been handed a rose pair of glasses thinking i am going to be so desperate to have the girls that i will be a cheap baby sitter.

I am going to use the fact that my contract is up at the end of the week to move back in.

The worst she could do? Call the police? Get her dad and two big brothers to ruogh up pleomax? She has voiced thos options to me already, how could any one do that to the father of children? I could expect that if i was a child molester but have never laid a finger on any of the girls and have often stated that i would do time if any one hurt the girls!

She sounds like a loony. Ask chef for advice. He’s had experience with loons.

[Platypus]

Get her dad and two big brothers to ruogh up pleomax?

I hope they do - then you can press charges and get them jailed and do her for incitement/conspiracy. If you hope they don't, inform her that you will have them jailed etc.