Pirates

[BoredBloke]

On the radio it said that their usual tactic is to approach slow moving boats from behind in little fast ones and use grappling hooks to scale the side of the boat. I guess the crew of a lumbering supertanker will have little chance, especially if they attack at night.

As for how to get it back, although the oil is worth a lot on the open market it isn't to them. I'd imagine if anybody tries anything that a blown up supertanker spewing all that oil into the sea will make one hell of a mess.

[OwlHoot]

Ah ha, someone with a clue asking the right questions.

Biggest naval bombardment in history was the yanks versus a pirate base.

Just thought I'd mention that.

Hows about a good bit of shock n awe for Bush's farewell party.

Yup, the Barbary Pirates

BTW, Purple Dalek, do you ride a bike by any chance?

[ChimpMaster]

Old pirates, yes, they rob I ...

[Bob Dalek]

I'm sure there was a racy book called Pirates - seem to remember it from the late 70s.

[OwlHoot]

If the US navy know that the supertanker has been taken over by pirates why don't they go in and blow their brains out?

And how on earth can a bunch of dimwits with ak47's manage to board a huge ship with probably 10 meter-high side walls. The ship's cook could pour boiling water on them as they climb the sides.

I reckon there's a fair chance it's part of some scheme to raise the price of oil temporarily and burn traders shorting on it (betting on the price continuing to decline, whatever that's called, shorting I think).

[BA to the Stars]

Oh for the love of God, I can't be the only one laughing about the pirate plank thing.... can I?

No, me too arrrrrrrr me hearties

[Purple Dalek]

Yup, the Barbary Pirates

BTW, Purple Dalek, do you ride a bike by any chance?

If you don't play nice I'll dig out the ouija board and resurrect sadgonad...

[Purple Dalek]

I reckon there's a fair chance it's part of some scheme to raise the price of oil temporarily and burn traders shorting on it (betting on the price continuing to decline, whatever that's called, shorting I think).

I reckon it's a scheme to allow the UN to mandate over the open sea. It's like dominoes, first they destroy the country, then ensure everyone is armed to the teeth, then they destroy the fishermen's livelihood, then, the clincher for me, upgrade the fishermen's boats, for what, there aren't any fish now, they've all been taken, then make sure any naval vessels in the area are given really restrictive rules of engagement along the lines of, do what you like but don't bother the pirates...

[ChimpMaster]

Invest now

VENTURE CAPITALISTS INVEST IN SOMALI PIRATES
VENTURE capitalists in New York and London are pumping millions of dollars into Somalia's booming pirate sector.


Personnel issues are now dealt with via mentoring and third-party arbitration
The sharp-eyed investors say Indian Ocean piracy has replaced Bangladeshi t-shirt factories as the developing world's strongest source of high-growth revenue streams.

Julian Cook, head of strategy at Porter, Pinkney and Turner (PPT), said: "The margins are very impressive. These guys can board a Chinese freighter or Saudi oil tanker and turn it around in less than a week. Usually without killing anyone.

"The staff are well-trained and they operate a structured bonus system involving the daughters of nomadic tribal chiefs and as much hallucinogenic tree bark as they can eat.

"The tax position is also very favourable given that Somalia isn't really what you would describe as a 'country' with 'laws' and a 'government'."

PPT has paid £25.7 million for a 32% stake in Captain Ahmed's Crazee Bastards with the initial tranche used for capital purchases including new speed boats, 200 yards of very strong rope and a gun the size of a cow.

The investment will also be used to establish an out-sourced personnel department to ensure the quick replacement of any colleagues shot by the Royal Navy during working hours.

Captain Ahmed will retain day-to-day management control and has also negotiated a clause allowing him to go 'ape-tulip crazee' and shoot everyone on board up to three times a year.

[EternalOptimist]

'Pirates are Somalian CHAVS' - Merchant shipping monthly

The Somalian pirates display all of the characteristics of a class known in the UK as 'chavs'
They should be rebranded as 'Burberry Pirates' - Carg O Hold - Seamans guild