I am socially inept...

[Spacecadet]

Anal butt plugs

they've probably been shagging for 5+ years so gives them an opportunity to take at least one "virginity" on the wedding night

[Diver]

Anal butt plugs

they've probably been shagging for 5+ years so gives them an opportunity to take at least one "virginity" on the wedding night

In silver so they can't complain

[EqualOpportunities]

In silver so they can't complain

[Diver]

And here it is! Only £24.50, including free batteries!!!
(Obviously NSFW).

Surreal

[NickFitz]

Ah crap. The wedding list is empty. 2 items left....

Progrip 2 grey nylon spoon
£7.00
yada yada yada

Navy jacobean bedlinen coordinates
£16.00
yada yada yada

Decisions decisions

Decisions decisions

So pick one of the two - they probably put crap like that on there specifically for such as yourself

If you want them to remember you ("Who got us this?" "That bloke thingy brought") every time somebody stays in the spare room, get the bedlinen crap. If you happen to hit it off, you may get to sleep in it one day when visiting

Otherwise, go for the £7 utensil. Face it: you don't know them, they don't know you, you get free food and drink, they don't understand why you're ruining their special day by your presence. The least you can do is spend £7 on them - and that's the most they'll expect.

(Didn't the Two Ronnies once use that joke in their "late news" bit at the end of the show, about the Irishman being arrested for passing forged £7 notes?... around 1977 - 78? Wotever, I'm )

[The Lone Gunman]

A decent bottle of bubbly often goes down well. Depends if they drink the good stuff very often.

[cailin maith]

..so I need help.

Going to a wedding on Friday. I don't know either the bride or the groom.

In fact I am only going becuase my best friends husband used to work with the sister of the bride. Fark knows why I was invited - but I never say no to a party.

So dilemma. Should I take/not take a present. Whats the social rules in these situations.

Don't worry the social rules on chatting the brides maids up and getting drunk off my arse are already squared away.

I can't even believe you are asking this question

Yes you buy a present..... sheesh

[Xenophon]

You're not socially inept, SP.

As is clear from the responses, you really ought to show up with something!

[SizeZero]

What the hell is a Progrip 2 grey nylon spoon?

[zeitghost]

What the hell is a Progrip 2 grey nylon spoon?

I think it's a polite codeword for a Silver Butt Plug(tm)