1. Don't admit you wear ladies make up (not in public anyways).
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
CUK top tips
Collapse
X
-
-
Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post1. Don't admit you wear ANY make up (not in public anyways).
HTH"If you can read this, thank a teacher....and since it's in English, thank a soldier" -
-
Man who p1ss in the wind always get's his own backThe court heard Darren Upton had written a letter to Judge Sally Cahill QC saying he wasn’t “a typical inmate of prison”.
But the judge said: “That simply demonstrates your arrogance continues. You are typical. Inmates of prison are people who are dishonest. You are a thoroughly dishonestly man motivated by your own selfish greed.”Comment
-
Comment
-
I only need it in the toiletOriginally posted by EternalOptimist View Postcheck for bog roll BEFORE you sit downThe court heard Darren Upton had written a letter to Judge Sally Cahill QC saying he wasn’t “a typical inmate of prison”.
But the judge said: “That simply demonstrates your arrogance continues. You are typical. Inmates of prison are people who are dishonest. You are a thoroughly dishonestly man motivated by your own selfish greed.”Comment
-
Toe nails clippings make excellent tooth picksRule Number 1 - Assuming that you have a valid contract in place always try to get your poo onto your timesheet, provided that the timesheet is valid for your current contract and covers the period of time that you are billing for.
I preferred version 1!Comment
-
Instead of wasting money on expensive designer glasses, simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.Comment
-
Slightly smelly though?Originally posted by TonyEnglish View PostToe nails clippings make excellent tooth picksComment
-
2. Don't admit you're ginger. Its the internet and no-one need know."Experience hath shewn, that even under the best forms of government those entrusted with power have, in time, and by slow operations, perverted it into tyranny. "
Thomas JeffersonComment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Dividends in 2026/27: an expert’s explainer for contractors Mar 13 07:20
- Contracting Awards 2026 opens for entries — with new AI category Mar 12 07:26
- Contractors, beware these four traps in the UK’s Statutory Residence Test Mar 11 00:23
- ‘Stable’ IT contractor demand moved near growth in February 2026 Mar 10 06:49
- What is a tax-efficient salary for 2026/27 as a limited company director? Mar 9 06:23
- Why the McCann Review is the latest failure of the Loan Charge scandal Mar 6 06:53
- What did Spring Statement 2026 say about mortgages? Mar 5 07:29
- Rachel Reeves overlooks contractors in ‘thin’ Spring Statement 2026 Mar 4 07:15
- Spring Statement 2026: chancellor’s full speech Mar 3 21:03
- Unlike today’s ‘boring’ Spring Statement 2026, Make Work Pay is transformative for contractors Mar 3 07:45

Comment