Contracting and child mainteanance

[NotAllThere]

Of course, I will sit down with a solicitor and go through these things when the time comes.

I am unsure what I should be doing right now ... keep doing a low rate gig so that I am effectively living hand to mouth and there's not much to be taken from me. Or, should I do an Outside gig and command a 20k gross income.

Do whatever gives you the most cash. It's cutting your own nose off to spit your face to have less income because that evil witch from hell who you inexplicably fell in love with and impregnated more than once will gain from it. It's like with 98% tax. 2p more is still 2p more.

[northernladuk]

Of course, I will sit down with a solicitor and go through these things when the time comes.

I am unsure what I should be doing right now ... keep doing a low rate gig so that I am effectively living hand to mouth and there's not much to be taken from me.

What kind of thinking is that? You'd happily screw yourself just so you could screw someone else worse? That someone else includes your kids? How does that make any sense? Sounds ridiculous.

Or, should I do an Outside gig and command a 20k gross income.

Someone has already pointed out that taking an artificially low income to avoid your responsibilities will count against you. I am sure they can take the money in the LTD in to account just as they do during divorce.
Also you have to keep this charade up for 18 years. If you have to close the company and extract the money you'll get stung for the lot at that point as well... or you could try hide it and commit fraud.

[SueEllen]

Remember that the CSA if involved have a problem understanding the difference betwe3en turnover and personal income.

It's the CMS now.

And the rules/laws around it are different.

[ladymuck]

I can't believe this thread is still going.

So essentially what we have is someone who had a kid and doesn't want to contribute towards their upbringing.

Sorry mate, children are not like pets - you can't drop them in the canal inside a bag of bricks or hand them off to some rescue shelter when you get bored of them.

It doesn't matter what you think of their mother, what you're essentially saying is that you don't give two hoots about your kid(s). That makes you a reprehensible human being in my eyes.

If only you'd kept your bits in your trousers, had the snip, or wore a condom then you wouldn't be in this mess. Now you have to live the consequences of your actions. Stop whining and pay up.

[Gibbon]

If only you'd kept your bits in your trousers, had the snip, or wore a condom then you wouldn't be in this mess. Now you have to live the consequences of your actions. Stop whining and pay up.

This type don't ever, I've met too many of them, they will cut their nose off to spite their face. Cos they can't stand the thought that that 'bitch' is getting a penny of their money. Then there's the others who demand every penny is spent on the kids, without thinking how do the kids get to the seaside holiday etc.

[Destiny2]

I can't believe this thread is still going.

So essentially what we have is someone who had a kid and doesn't want to contribute towards their upbringing.

Sorry mate, children are not like pets - you can't drop them in the canal inside a bag of bricks or hand them off to some rescue shelter when you get bored of them.

It doesn't matter what you think of their mother, what you're essentially saying is that you don't give two hoots about your kid(s). That makes you a reprehensible human being in my eyes.

If only you'd kept your bits in your trousers, had the snip, or wore a condom then you wouldn't be in this mess. Now you have to live the consequences of your actions. Stop whining and pay up.

I did say I did not want to go into details exactly not to run into this type of post.

The woman I loved and married and decided to have a child with after being married for 7 years, caused a fuss out of nowhere one day after the child was only 5 months old and walked away. When I spoke to my in-laws, I found out that this was their plan all along. They had a long-term plan to have their daughter leave shortly after she had a child.

How do you think that makes me feel?

[Gibbon]

I did say I did not want to go into details exactly not to run into this type of post.

The woman I loved and married and decided to have a child with after being married for 7 years, caused a fuss out of nowhere one day after the child was only 5 months old and walked away. When I spoke to my in-laws, I found out that this was their plan all along. They had a long-term plan to have their daughter leave shortly after she had a child.

How do you think that makes me feel?

But by not you invite that kind of post, as it makes you seem callous.

Very angry and quite justifiably so. The best way to reduce maintenance to to have your child 2-3 nights a week. Resist spousal maintenance even if giving more than 50% in the divorce. Make sure you get a clean break. Being a high earner means you can make it up later. Forget the past and revenge, remember the old adage about two graves. The CM will end, I did 14 years, it will end and then you can look at yourself in the mirror.

After my ex was unfaithful I ended up in barracks, quite humiliating, but I sucked it up and planned my future. In fact the best revenge is to get on with your life and at first pretend you don't care, eventually the pretending becomes reality.

Bad things happen to good people, its how we respond that truly tests the good. Doing the right thing is never wrong (Cicero). Virtue and dignity in the face of wrong is its own reward.

You are being tested now, do the right thing no matter how it hurts.

[ladymuck]

I did say I did not want to go into details exactly not to run into this type of post.

The woman I loved and married and decided to have a child with after being married for 7 years, caused a fuss out of nowhere one day after the child was only 5 months old and walked away. When I spoke to my in-laws, I found out that this was their plan all along. They had a long-term plan to have their daughter leave shortly after she had a child.

How do you think that makes me feel?

That is a really crap situation. I get you don't want her to benefit in any way, absolutely I do.

You should fight for shared custody of the child - not only is it your right but it is your child's right to have access to both parents and I think it is they who is most important here. They need to know that you care for them and are still there for them. Goodness knows what your ex has told them or will them in the future if you're not around and contributing.

Also, by having shared custody, you pay less maintenance

[Gibbon]

Also, by having shared custody, you pay less maintenance

This if you can. The arrears are negotiable and maybe you could work them into the divorce settlement. She has to be reasonable too. Then if you can manage shared custody your CM will be aprox 4/7 * 15% of your net, so no need to hide it. That certainly won't be what she is expecting! (Yes the PWC always gets the larger share but hey ho). Just don't under any circumstance agree to spousal maintenance.

[vetran]

That is a really crap situation. I get you don't want her to benefit in any way, absolutely I do.

You should fight for shared custody of the child - not only is it your right but it is your child's right to have access to both parents and I think it is they who is most important here. They need to know that you care for them and are still there for them. Goodness knows what your ex has told them or will them in the future if you're not around and contributing.

Also, by having shared custody, you pay less maintenance

agree she also sounds a bit callous & nuts so you need to be there for the child. Anyone who does that sort of thing is not firing all cylinders.