Experience of divorce?

[BrilloPad]

OK the guy has to pay for the kids, but he can't just give a 2 yer old the cash... hence he has to pay the money to the ex-wife ..I think

Why do you make the assumption that that its the man who works? Are you a family court judge? :-)

Surely the person who works should be the one who pays for the kids?

[jeremytaxman]

Sorry I dont understand. I thought white v white meant a 50% division. If kids are paid for separately, then why should wife get more ? particularly if that 50% already means she gets the family home (mortgage free) in addition to cash and / or investments.

Why do you have to pay her spousal maintenance ? and for how long ?

[BrilloPad]

Sorry I dont understand. I thought white v white meant a 50% division. If kids are paid for separately, then why should wife get more ? particularly if that 50% already means she gets the family home (mortgage free) in addition to cash and / or investments.

Why do you have to pay her spousal maintenance ? and for how long ?

white vs white applies with no kids where the man bought all the money into the marriage. I have no idea why the women should get more - its not right. unless the money is required to house the children and the man has walked away.

Spousal maintenance to equalize incomes after divorce. If woman says she cannot work (to look after kids or otherwise) then she gets 50%. And man pays CSA as well.

I am the wrong person to ask - I agree with you. I am just saying how it is. I have fought very very hard to get things changed - hundreds of hours with f4j, thousands of pounds. and i was arrested. In fact I was the 4th person arrested on f4j active service!

Its just not any help to the children - and the family law gravy train rolls on. Makes my blood boil!

excuse my while I go for a lie down. Could someone light me a lavendar candle pleae?

[jeremytaxman]

I'm surprised you're not lying down wth a bottle of pills

Faced with a prospect like that, what advice would you have for guys (other than don't get married) ?

[BrilloPad]

I'm surprised you're not lying down wth a bottle of pills

Faced with a prospect like that, what advice would you have for guys (other than don't get married) ?

I did decide to kill myself - harder than it sounds. Thats when I wasn't seeing the kids - and losing all my capital and income. I joined Britsh Euthanaesia association and found out what pills I need. I bought 2 thirds of them!

Matt O'Connor (founder and mentor of f4j) saved me.

As I told my gf with 30 minutes of meeting, I will not get married again and no more kids.

But I came out so well relative to others. I have many many stories you just do not want to hear.

I wish anyone else getting divorced the best of luck. If you can save your marriage, please try.

[SandyDown]

Faced with a prospect like that, what advice would you have for guys (other than don't get married) ?

Don't get divorced !!

[ratewhore]

Don't get divorced !!

Nah - move to Pakistan, get married there. They've got the right idea.

" I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you. Now get out of my house..!"

[jeremytaxman]

Do as Rod Stewert suggests ....

find someone you dont like and give them a house and lots of money !

[SallyAnne]

As I told my gf with 30 minutes of meeting, I will not get married again and no more kids.

Your poor gf - I bet she feels like she's really going to miss out.

Is she in her 30's "find a husband and start having babies" phase? Or are you lucky and have found someone who already has kids and also has scars of the past too?

[SandyDown]

Is she in her 30's "find a husband and start having babies" phase? Or are you lucky and have found someone who already has kids and also has scars of the past too?

What a good idea... so guys if you want to get married choose a divorcee.. this way you her and her kids/your kids all can live off of her ex