Experience of divorce?

[The Lone Gunman]

I think you should stay.

It is not often I am serious, but this subject makes my blood boil.
Many people know that the law is biased, but have no concept of the injustices that go on. The proles see f4j as a bunch of nutters doing silly things in odd costumes and have no idea why they are doing it.
The reasosns f4j do what they do are not in the public domain. If you and others like you can put the evidence in the public domain then that has to be a step forward.
If this forum can be used to that end in some small way then I for one would be proud and pleased.

[BrilloPad]

I think you should stay.

It is not often I am serious, but this subject makes my blood boil.
Many people know that the law is biased, but have no concept of the injustices that go on. The proles see f4j as a bunch of nutters doing silly things in odd costumes and have no idea why they are doing it.
The reasosns f4j do what they do are not in the public domain. If you and others like you can put the evidence in the public domain then that has to be a step forward.
If this forum can be used to that end in some small way then I for one would be proud and pleased.

I appreciate the support, I really do. You made a number of very good points - each of which I could talk at length about. Would you mind if I just took a big step back to keep this post brief?

I am one of few people who Matt O'Connor listens to. Matt is founder and mentor of f4j. He taught me the way forward and without him I would probably not be seeing my kids now. He saved me from suicide. I talk to him most weeks.

You can see my profile at http://fathers-4-justice.org/f4j//in...d=23&Itemid=45. There was a stage my whole life was f4j - I have been on the telly a few times(including 5 minutes on each of the ITV main news bulletins) but my big successes came in private. I don't want to say too much - but Matt once descibed me as "the most evil c**t he has ever met". And he runs an orgaisation which the met police has a bigger file on than Al Quaeda!

But my only involvement now is running the f4j forum. Why have I backed out? Well its partly that I see the kids 4 days a week and they come first. However the bigger reason is that men are so useless! Sorry as I know most reading this are men, but women run circles round us. Women stick together far better. And listen better. Anti-male propoganda is acceped as norm. The NSPCC basically assumes that men only want to see their kids to abuse and beat them. If a man is on a BA flight next to a child, then man will be moved (as happened to Boris Johnson recently). Men are seen as abusers. Why do men accept this perception?

And it goes deeper. Whenever I asked a man in f4j to do something he often would not follow the simpliest instruction. You would be amazed how many in f4j have stabbed Matt in the back. They would rather that there is no solution than Matt get any credit! f4j is composed of just a few people who do anything - it is a huge triumph of press manipulation(which Tony Blair is so good at).

Did you know the last f4j demo got a turnout of 71 people!!!

And I sit next to someone who got divorced. I spent hours helping him. I got him the best help possible. He had a very very good chance of getting a relationship with his child - and setting a test case which would help thousands of children have a relationship with their dad. He did not do it as he did not have the bottle.

I really really hate the family law courts. As I said, the 1989 Children Act contains everything I need. It just needs to be implemented. I will be back at 110% to f4j. When men mature to make any effort worthwhile.

Remember this is a computer contractor forum and if people really really want to help(and any support will be appreciated) they can join f4j. costs £30 per year. That gives access to f4j forum if help needed. And there is a demo planned in June just before fathers day. I will advertise this on the board.

But really this thread should die. I had forgotten about the case of Phil Osgood, whose 6 year old daughter was raped. I am terrified that my ex will take up with a child abuser. As a man there is little I can do to protect my children. I have worked so hard to get shared residence.

Thanks again for all the support - really appreciated.
Andy Neil

[SandyDown]

I
But really this thread should die. I had forgotten about the case of Phil Osgood, whose 6 year old daughter was raped. I am terrified that my ex will take up with a child abuser. As a man there is little I can do to protect my children. I have worked so hard to get shared residence.

Thanks again for all the support - really appreciated.
Andy Neil

Andy, if you are worried about Paedophiles then educate your kids, its never too early, my ex educated our kids since the age of 3 year old, there are good ways of explaining evil to kids early so that they are aware of it – I know its not as simple as that – and I did have my doubts of educating them the time thinking may be they are too young or may be we are destroying their innocence, but he was right and I am very glad we did educate them they were aware of strangers and evil, and were educated that they could talk to us any time.

I disagree with women who expose their children to any man I they go out with, even if it was a serious relation, I believe this is every woman's nightmare too (paedophiles I mean), however I agree that some women are stupid or simple minded and may be deceived easily and taken advantage off. If you want the truth am always suspect of any man (who has never been married and never had kids) that wants to go out with a woman with kids, this sound crazy but if a man starts telling me how much he loves kids and wants to get to know mine, then alarm bells go off in my head – and steer away – perhaps am paranoid, but kids come first IMO

[SallyAnne]

If you want the truth am always suspect of any man (who has never been married and never had kids) that wants to go out with a woman with kids, this sound crazy but if a man starts telling me how much he loves kids and wants to get to know mine, then alarm bells go off in my head – and steer away – perhaps am paranoid, but kids come first IMO

Ah that is such a shame. I know lots of men who love kids, and would love to have kids, but have just never met the right woman. It's horrible to suspect them of being evil just becuse they'd love to get to know your kids - that used to be every single mum's dream!

Still...I dont have kids, so its all theory for me. I'm guessing I'd feel as over protective as you if I had them. Better safe than sory an all that.

It's such a shame though.

[Churchill]

Ah that is such a shame. I know lots of men who love kids, and would love to have kids, but have just never met the right woman. It's horrible to suspect them of being evil just becuse they'd love to get to know your kids - that used to be every single mum's dream!

Still...I dont have kids, so its all theory for me. I'm guessing I'd feel as over protective as you if I had them. Better safe than sory an all that.

It's such a shame though.

Get off your fat arse and get a job you bum!

[Bagpuss]

If you want the truth am always suspect of any man (who has never been married and never had kids) that wants to go out with a woman with kids, this sound crazy but if a man starts telling me how much he loves kids and wants to get to know mine, then alarm bells go off in my head – and steer away – perhaps am paranoid, but kids come first IMO

What a bizzare way to think! Sometimes you meet people and find out they have kids afterwards. I'd rather they didn't, because it's a pain in the arse. I don't see it as an opportunity to have sex with kids (99.9% of the population don't).

[SandyDown]

Ah that is such a shame. I know lots of men who love kids, and would love to have kids, but have just never met the right woman. It's horrible to suspect them of being evil just becuse they'd love to get to know your kids - that used to be every single mum's dream!

Still...I dont have kids, so its all theory for me. I'm guessing I'd feel as over protective as you if I had them. Better safe than sory an all that.

It's such a shame though.

SA - there are plenty of divorced / or single men who have kids already, I am less suspecious of those, as they've been through the mill too, mind you I'd still wouldn't advice any woman of exposing her kids to a stranger, there is plenty of options to get to know a man, e.g. you can go out or stay at his place, while asking the father of yout kids to keep the kids for the night/week, or ask a family memebr or a trusted babaysitter to babysit... just because you go out with a guy a few times, no need to invite him back home and expose your children to a man you hardly know !! this is just plain stupid.

[BrilloPad]

Andy, if you are worried about Paedophiles then educate your kids, its never too early, my ex educated our kids since the age of 3 year old, there are good ways of explaining evil to kids early so that they are aware of it – I know its not as simple as that – and I did have my doubts of educating them the time thinking may be they are too young or may be we are destroying their innocence, but he was right and I am very glad we did educate them they were aware of strangers and evil, and were educated that they could talk to us any time.

I disagree with women who expose their children to any man I they go out with, even if it was a serious relation, I believe this is every woman's nightmare too (paedophiles I mean), however I agree that some women are stupid or simple minded and may be deceived easily and taken advantage off. If you want the truth am always suspect of any man (who has never been married and never had kids) that wants to go out with a woman with kids, this sound crazy but if a man starts telling me how much he loves kids and wants to get to know mine, then alarm bells go off in my head – and steer away – perhaps am paranoid, but kids come first IMO

I do educate the kids. I am just as suspicious of women as men. Did you know that more children are killed by their mother than by their father?

[BrilloPad]

What a bizzare way to think! Sometimes you meet people and find out they have kids afterwards. I'd rather they didn't, because it's a pain in the arse. I don't see it as an opportunity to have sex with kids (99.9% of the population don't).

good post - this is the point. most most men and women are decent who put children first. There are a few who don't - alas they don't have "paedo" stamped on their forehead. And of course abuse affects all classes.

Right - last post on child abuse - b4 I go crazy with worry.

[Spartacus]

And that attitude is why men are now reluctant to help children in distress. There was the case of the girl knocked down that got national attention but it's happening locally all the time with lost children and so forth. To those who say child safety overrides all other considerations I say who is most likely to abuse a child? Their own parents of course. Therefore all who say such nonsense must surely support the raising of all children in state orphanages. Oh, but of course, they are "different" and would never harm a child.

Makes me sick.