Contractor - unexpectantly pregnant

[DaveB]

It’s just bad timing and with the urgent project being stopped soon (just tying up some loose ends) I am not in the best position. I wasn’t expecting this conversation until Dec. I could then have said I’m pregnant, I really want to continue working on x project how about we extend for 3 mths from 1 feb?
I want to work up to 34 weeks. The money would be welcome. I can then take time off and contract closer to home.

I'd just say no to the perm offer because you are pregnant and want to be able to take time out when it arrives. Offer to work as long as you can to help them with handover etc. Suggest the end of April to make sure the new project is up and running and ensure a smooth handover.

This way you are doing them a favour, not asking them to do one for you. You are setting expectations on availability and being positive about it, not presenting it as a problem. Ball is in their court to respond.

[jmo21]

Some other considerations:
Commute door to door is 80 mins one way. Do-able but with a baby if there are delays I will have issues
There will be a requirement for international travel
My husband’s job is not flexible to allow for baby day care drop offs and pick-ups so I require flexibility

Just be honest. You want the job, but need flexibility after baby arrives. Figure out if that means 4 days WFH and as little international travel as possible, or whatever.

If they say no, and you do not have child minding options, then not a lot you can do.

[northernladuk]

Just tell them you are pregnant and you'd like your solicitor and a representative from HR in any future meetings. They'll absolutely crap themselves and accept anything you want for fear of getting sued/appearing the papers etc.

[CoolCat]

At least you are not a bloke with a wife who stops taking the pill without telling him, announces that she is pregnant despite having promised that she never wanted children from when they first met all the way through the getting married bit, and dumps unwanted expense hassle and challenges on the bloke against his wishes and destroying any chance he had of an early retirement

[CoolCat]

As Neil Peart, drummer in Rush, said about future activities: "Making plans? I don´t even buy green bananas"

Bubba!

[psychocandy]

OP 80 min commute rules it all out IMHO. I did a role recently with 90 mins each way and I was pretty much out of the picture for any sort of drop-offs/childcare etc. Its just too long a day.

Huge difference to current - 30 mins.

Moneys not everything - screw it up until you pop on contract rates then take a year off? Go back after that see if client still wants you.

[psychocandy]

At least you are not a bloke with a wife who stops taking the pill without telling him, announces that she is pregnant despite having promised that she never wanted children from when they first met all the way through the getting married bit, and dumps unwanted expense hassle and challenges on the bloke against his wishes and destroying any chance he had of an early retirement

personal experience?

[SueEllen]

At least you are not a bloke with a wife who stops taking the pill without telling him, announces that she is pregnant despite having promised that she never wanted children from when they first met all the way through the getting married bit, and dumps unwanted expense hassle and challenges on the bloke against his wishes and destroying any chance he had of an early retirement

Always a risk if you don't have the snip.

Btw some women have loads of side effects on hormonal contraception.

[Lance]

At least you are not a bloke with a wife who stops taking the pill without telling him, announces that she is pregnant despite having promised that she never wanted children from when they first met all the way through the getting married bit, and dumps unwanted expense hassle and challenges on the bloke against his wishes and destroying any chance he had of an early retirement

Just whip it out and blurt it all over her back and you're covered.

[BoggyMcCBoggyFace]

My misses had a kid 18months ago and put kid into nursery at 10months, I work full time in London door to door commute 75-80mins with lots of flexibity (get in 10am, wfh day aweek) and misses is part-time works 3 days a week, 1 from home and her office is 15mins from home / nursery. We thought it would be easy with this setup but OMG its been a nightmare reality is if I had been a contractor I would of been kicked out by now, same for misses had she not had a very good relationship with her employers she would of been sacked.

Admittedly my kid got sick a lot but that happens to most kids who start nursery and particularly babies, but my point is you just don't know how your kid will be and it is a lot harder than you might think and the kid has to be your priority over everything, you wont be the same you will be knackered all the time, probably stressed if your kid is sick, everything changes, people don't want to tell you how hard it is but it it (sorry to be so negative ). When my kid was due I was offered another job 10k more I turned it down which at the time I regretted (even posted about it on here) but now in hindsight it was 100% the right thing to do as the flexibility I got from current job worth more than the 10k.

I think only real way you can do it is have a live in nanny and just accept that you wont spend as much time with your kid as you probably should, its tough having a kid, how the hell people manage with more than 1 I do not know.