How to fail

[suityou01]

If awards were given for how to fail, this project would be on for a triple gold medal in the long distance fail, 200m fail and front crawl fail.

Relatively simple data migration, but I have been warning since the start of the project :

Don't use freeware to model SSIS packages.
Make the business available for design workshops/data mapping exercises.
I need resource.
I need a big SQL Server with plenty of space and plenty of power.

So far we have

Freeware that crashed 6 times a day, corrupts the SSIS package and costs untold developer hours to fix each time it crashes.
The business set their own agenda and are too busy. On a permanent basis.
The resources I requested have been delivered. Promptly. Except that one of them is only available 18 hrs a week, and is constantly "re-tasked" during those 18 hrs. One of them cannot use SSIS and has no aptitude to learn it.
The big SQL Server was less powerful than my desktop.

Also the devs lose time because the VM architecture is flaky as hell, and quite often their machines are out of action. My working day is spent basically raising support tickets.

Today it's my machine that is banjaxed.

And it's contractor day.

[SimonMac]

I guess that makes you a Tool Suity!

[suityou01]

I guess that makes you a Tool Suity!

Touche. I guess I can still work the coffee maker so not completely inept.

[SimonMac]

Touche. I guess I can still work the coffee maker so not completely inept.

Well played

[MrMarkyMark]

I thought this post was going to be about Suity's new self help book

[BrilloPad]

You say that about all your projects.

How does this one rate relatively to the others?

[suityou01]

You say that about all your projects.

How does this one rate relatively to the others?

Mmmm. There is a pattern of feckless permies with a trade unionist mentality digging their heels in and braying every time I ask for things to be able to provide the service my business was engaged to provide, and a handwringing project manager being very sympathetic.

[MrMarkyMark]

a handwringing project manager being very sympathetic.

Try engaging the perms in pleasant conversation, they may then help you further.

Are they voting in or out?
How much are their houses worth?
Have they ever being bathed fully naked, with an Indian man, in a Turkish bath in Chennai?
Do they think Osborne is a total chunt?

All proven ice breakers, give 'em a try.

HTH.

[FatLazyContractor]

Try engaging the perms in pleasant conversation, they may then help you further.


Are they voting in or out?
How much are their houses worth?
Have they ever being bathed fully naked, with an Indian man, in a Turkish bath in Chennai?
Do they think Osborne is a total chunt?

All proven ice breakers, give 'em a try.


Do they read the Dailymail ?

HTH.

FTFY

[vetran]

I saw this and thought of you



London Fire Brigade - Europe?s biggest ever disaster training exercise begins today

Europe’s biggest ever disaster training exercise begins today
29 February 2016

The largest ever disaster training exercise in our 150 year history begins today (Monday 29 February) with firefighters, police officers and ambulance personnel from across London taking part in a four day scenario based upon a building collapsing onto a tube station in the capital.

In order to create the most realistic environment possible, an entire tube station has been recreated and then 'crushed' in a disused power station close to the Dartford river crossing.

With over 1,000 casualties, thousands of tonnes of rubble, seven tube carriages and hundreds of emergency service responders, Exercise Unified Response (EUR) has been over a year in the planning.

It involves a wide range of organisations that are involved in disaster response, such as a number of London local authorities and Transport for London. London's Air Ambulance will also be taking part.