Looking for contractors with bad experience with Computer Futures

[GlenW]

What an amazing coincidence!
I got an email from them this morning and it had 2 spelling mistakes in it! The grammar wasn't very good either. If you need any more details I'd be happy to participate in your production, usual Equity rates of course.

[TheFaQQer]

They tied me to a chair above a shark pool and the chair was being slowly lowered into the pool. Fortunately I am COTBAC so I MTFU, chewed through the ropes, twutted the sharks and made sushi for me and some bikini clad piece who happened to be there too.

Do you think you could put that scene in?

Pffft - a real contractor would have a Rolex that has a spinning bezel to cut through the rope before stuffing an oxygen cylinder in the mouth of the shark and shooting it to blow it up.

Or something like that.

[BlueSharp]

Opening Scene, stood in Piccadilly Station, rush hour commute time, smoke machine:

My name is Dave, commander of the Agents of the North,
General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Margaret Thatcher.
Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my commission, in this life or the next.

[barrydidit]

Pffft - a real contractor would have a Rolex that has a spinning bezel to cut through the rope before stuffing an oxygen cylinder in the mouth of the shark and shooting it to blow it up.

Or something like that.

I'm sure the facts will be sexed up for the silver screen.

[DaveB]

I'm creating a movie about agency called "Computer Futures" and their bad practice. If you are one of contractors with bad experience with them feel free to contact me - together we can force them to play fair.

Opening Crawl, field of stars, dramatic music (can we get John Williams?)

It is a period of civil war.
Rebel contractors, striking
from a hidden base, have won
their first victory against
the evil Computer Futures empire.

During the battle, rebel
spies managed to steal secret
drafts of the Empire's
ultimate weapon, the IR35 Contract,
a contract so convoluted it has
enough power to put any
contractor inside IR35.

Pursued by the Empire's
sinister agents, Princess
Suity races home aboard her
starship, custodian of the
stolen drafts that can save
her people and restore
freedom to the galaxy....

[Ticktock]

I heard a rumour that when CF bring in window cleaners then they make sure that they actually have the wrong type of ladder.

May just be a rumour though.

[MicrosoftBob]

I heard a rumour that when CF bring in window cleaners then they make sure that they actually have the wrong type of ladder.

May just be a rumour though.

I theard they brought in 3rd line support to lick the windows clean

[NotAllThere]

...- together we can force them to play fair.

Agencies like CF have been around for many years. No-one's managed that so far. Agencies don't play fair. They're in business, like the rest of us.

Good choice of agency to complain about.

The Commercial Director of the parent company is a poster on this forum. I'm sure Andy will be delighted when he sees this post and cheerfully reply when he gets a chance....

I'm sure Andy is well aware of the reputation among contractors of the companies in his group. And laughs all the way to the bank.

Opening Scene, stood in Piccadilly Station, rush hour commute time, smoke machine:

My name is Dave, commander of the Agents of the North,
General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Margaret Thatcher.
Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife...

And that's when I called Claims Direct.*



* (c) Dead Ringers

[FatLazyContractor]

Opening Scene, stood in Piccadilly Station,

The one in Manchester? or London?

Attention to detail

[cojak]

And let's not forget the contracting elite - those consultant's working direct for clients.

Agency snipers get a bonus if they manage to bring one of those bloodied scalps back to base.

(Sadly creative freelancers are trampled underfoot, not even recognised as battle fodder owing to the near 0% commission that they generate).