Pregnancy/Maternity Questions

[MyUserName]

Also, what is your niche specialism?
I am curious now!!

[RasputinDude]

OK, my last try and then I am out of this thread.

I've lost count of how many have called me naive

OK, yes. I do think that you are being naive. I have watched my wife being literally cut open and our child removed during an emergency procedure. Her entire abdomen was sliced open. All the muscles that you use to sit up, move, twist etc. were sliced through. You *don't* recover from that in two weeks; I'm sorry but you just don't. Not even if you are wonderwoman. Muscle takes time to grow back.

and devious

You have to understand that we are professional contractors here. Our reputation is what gets us hired and keeps us hired. If you look through this forum you will see many people getting shot down for suggesting that it is ok to lie to or deceive clients. It's just not professional.

without much understanding of my actual circumstances.

We can only go on what information has been provided!

Appreciate the wishes.

You're welcome, and I do sincerely wish you the best.

[fckvwls]

And I only look down on those stay-at-home mums who pretend its the be all and end all of childrearing. No issue with those who simply made the choice that was right for them and respect that that may not be what works for everyone.

Given that you appear to be in the fortunate position of having both options available, which option do you think is in the child's best interest?

[mudskipper]

Everyone makes their decisions suited to their own circumstances.

Doing one thing rather than another doesn't make you better or worse.

But it's a biological fact that women have to go through the pregnancy and birth, and this often does have a physical effect that will cause you to need time to recover. With a bit of luck it won't, but if you're convincing yourself it's not going to, you are being naive. And hormones do have a huge and unpredictable effect!

It sounds like you've got a great partner and good support systems, so fingers crossed everything goes to plan, and you're back to work in two weeks.

I don't think most people are trying to be negative, but they are being realistic. I wish you all the best and hope it works for you.

[formant]

Given that you appear to be in the fortunate position of having both options available, which option do you think is in the child's best interest?

Parental contact is important, but the mother is no more important than the father, so I believe in both parents having equal involvement in the child's life where that's feasible.

But it's also important for children to grow up with happy parents. I'd be miserable as stay-at-home mum, others would be miserable working relatively soon after giving birth.

[formant]

Everyone makes their decisions suited to their own circumstances.

Doing one thing rather than another doesn't make you better or worse.

But it's a biological fact that women have to go through the pregnancy and birth, and this often does have a physical effect that will cause you to need time to recover. With a bit of luck it won't, but if you're convincing yourself it's not going to, you are being naive. And hormones do have a huge and unpredictable effect!

It sounds like you've got a great partner and good support systems, so fingers crossed everything goes to plan, and you're back to work in two weeks.

I don't think most people are trying to be negative, but they are being realistic. I wish you all the best and hope it works for you.

Thank you. I don't expect everything to go perfectly smoothly, but there's a good chance it just might. If it doesn't then I'll have to live with the consequences. I'm prepared for losing my contract upon disclosing my pregnancy, I'm prepared for losing my contract after I've had the kid, and I'm prepared to not get renewed after the initial 12 months because I've been off for a bit.
But I'm not going to just surrender up front, I'm just going to try and make it work. We'll see how it pans out. Shall post the outcome here.

[mudskipper]

Thank you. I don't expect everything to go perfectly smoothly, but there's a good chance it just might. If it doesn't then I'll have to live with the consequences. I'm prepared for losing my contract upon disclosing my pregnancy, I'm prepared for losing my contract after I've had the kid, and I'm prepared to not get renewed after the initial 12 months because I've been off for a bit.
But I'm not going to just surrender up front, I'm just going to try and make it work. We'll see how it pans out. Shall post the outcome here.

Good attitude - good luck!

[fckvwls]

I'd be miserable as stay-at-home mum,

Difficult to be too categoric about this at this stage. My wife, who was more ambitious, more career driven and certainly more dedicated and in fact who earned more went into labour thinking the same thing. She has been a stay at home mum for 6 years now (my second is 6 months old so largeish gap) and would never contemplate going back to work.

[northernladuk]

Difficult to be too categoric about this at this stage. My wife, who was more ambitious, more career driven and certainly more dedicated and in fact who earned more went into labour thinking the same thing. She has been a stay at home mum for 6 years now (my second is 6 months old so largeish gap) and would never contemplate going back to work.

An ex of mine was heading for director level at a large retail company, had a baby and is now a midwife. Funny what such an impact it can have.

[SarahL2012]

Thank you. I don't expect everything to go perfectly smoothly, but there's a good chance it just might. If it doesn't then I'll have to live with the consequences. I'm prepared for losing my contract upon disclosing my pregnancy, I'm prepared for losing my contract after I've had the kid, and I'm prepared to not get renewed after the initial 12 months because I've been off for a bit.
But I'm not going to just surrender up front, I'm just going to try and make it work. We'll see how it pans out. Shall post the outcome here.

I've worked with a number of women who went back to work quickly after having babies - I was talking to one of them about your posts (she went back after 3 weeks because she had the only wage coming in). Her advice is;

- set ground rules at home so everyone knows who is doing what and you have the support structure in place from the outset.
- let the client know when you will / will not be available and absolutely make sure that you are there when you say you will be even if you are surrounded by chaos (her example was vomiting baby whilst on conference call).
- if it really isn't working then let the client know and help them plan to replace you, so that you leave with your professional reputation intact.

Good luck!