What's the worst interview you've ever had?

[Unix]

The interview was for an intern role (3rd year in a sandwich degree), it was 2pm on a Tuesday in the next City about 2 hours away.

the role was as an MS Access builder for ad-hoc reporting for an insurance provider.

At Uni, Monday night was quite a big one - traffic light pint glasses etc (do they still do that?). Resulting in me having to turf out chappy from last night, get interview ready with the one suit I owned and get on a train before noon.

During the interview I managed to empty the 2 bottles of water for the table, can't really remember much of the interview other than one of the interviewers looked like that Adrian Childs TV presenter bloke.

Started sobering up on the train back with increasing horror of what I must have looked like.

Got the job, and went out with chappy the following evening!
Then got a better offer in London and took that one and dumped chappy.

Oh to have so many options these days

Poor chappy

[mudskipper]

Probably when I was meeting a guy at his house for the first time to discuss some potential work, so I didn't want to go fully suited. Found a nice skirt and blouse, and an ancient pair of black sandals at the bottom of my cupboard.

Sat at his dining table and started going through the work that was needed, then glanced across his nice wooden floor, and there were huge black lumps of what looked like mud. I started apologising profusely and picking up said lumps only to realise they were rubber - my shoes were disintegrating, I was shedding more and more shoe bits the more I tried to clean up.

Couldn't have been too bad though - still getting work of them 3 years later (my clientB)

Top tip: Don't wear biodegradable shoes to an interview.

[northernladuk]

Probably when I was meeting a guy at his house for the first time to discuss some potential work, so I didn't want to go fully suited. Found a nice skirt and blouse, and an ancient pair of black sandals at the bottom of my cupboard.

Sat at his dining table and started going through the work that was needed, then glanced across his nice wooden floor, and there were huge black lumps of what looked like mud. I started apologising profusely and picking up said lumps only to realise they were rubber - my shoes were disintegrating, I was shedding more and more shoe bits the more I tried to clean up.

Couldn't have been too bad though - still getting work of them 3 years later (my clientB)

Top tip: Don't wear biodegradable shoes to an interview.

And did you 'accidently' show too much when bending over to pick the lumps? Sounds more like a well orchestrated plan than a bad interview to me!

[reformation]

And did you 'accidently' show too much when bending over to pick the lumps? Sounds more like a well orchestrated plan than a bad interview to me!

She probably had the rare IT skill of T and A

[I just need to test it]

1980s. I'd dropped out of college. Maggie Thatcher was in her pomp. My prospects were poor.

A retired programmer ran classes teaching BASIC so I popped along a few times. He gave me a certificate printed on very cheap A4 paper. Shortly after I landed a job interview for a non-IT role so took it along just in case it tipped the balance.

This was but one of several mistakes I made that day.

The job was for a clerical position, low-level, so I was a little alarmed to find they'd assembled an interview panel of three - two grey-haired gents and an attractive woman who kept winking at me.

At some point the winky woman and one of the grey-haired chaps began conversing loudly among themselves while Grey Hair 2 continued asking questions. I got a bit frazzled, struggling to hear him, still being winked at. A tea trolley wandered into the room and at one point all three of them were talking among themselves despite me having just begun replying to a question. I was red-faced and flustered.

Then, between dunking biscuits, they set a trap for me that I was too stupid to avoid. They asked me what my dream job was.

I answered truthfully. Because the truth is important, and as much as filing invoices has some attraction, it was never likely to rival my dream job. Not my dream job.

I told them I wanted to be an American footballer.

You could be forgiven for mistakenly thinking that was as bad is it got. Oh no. In a desperate attempt to pull things around I fumbled for my briefcase and pulled out a dog-eared piece of A4 paper. The three of them stopped for a moment, interested.

I handed it to Grey Hair 1 who read it, repeating the name of the retired programmer a couple of times. He showed it to the other 2 who sniggered. Then he turned to me and said "He used to work here" (this was true, I'd remembered Retired Programmer mentioning it). "He was a fool. He got himself sacked".

[tarbera]

Worse and best

Interviewing one chap, he asked if he could use the loo 20mins in, Sure across the office 1st door on the left, he got up walked across room and when right into the printer room and closed the door, 3 mins later he came out the printer room and back to the interview !!! Try keeping your face straight after that one.!!!

Another Girl we were interviewing, her boobs accidently popped out of her blouse, nips on show, yes she got the contract

[sal]

Another Girl we were interviewing, her boobs accidently popped out of her blouse, nips on show, yes she got the contract

I bet she did

[northernladuk]

This thread is more like ******* jackanory than a factual recount of interview experiences.... Move to general please?

[SteelyDan]

Sat at his dining table and started going through the work that was needed, then glanced across his nice wooden floor, and there were huge black lumps of what looked like mud. I started apologising profusely and picking up said lumps only to realise my colostomy bag had burst

FTFY

[SteelyDan]

This thread is more like ******* jackanory than a factual recount of interview experiences.... Move to general please?

Yeah, but the stories are genuine...aren't they? I particularly like the one with tits out and nipples showing