How to get a shag - Contractor UK Bulletin Board

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SimonMac replied

29 October 2013, 13:11
Originally posted by mudskipper View Post

Most people aren't shagging as much as you think they are.

Those who don't talk springs to mind
Leave a comment:
original PM replied

29 October 2013, 12:18
so did any of you try the options on here?

any joy?
Leave a comment:
socialworker replied

26 October 2013, 20:47
Originally posted by Cliphead View Post

In my experience of course...

Play;

Spanish guitar
Hyperspeed tenor banjo
Bluegrass mandolin (marginal)
Whatever current smoochie hit on guitar

........

Bulgari Aqua
Chanel Anteus
Write her a tune
Have it performed by a major orchestra
Find it quickly and well...

Cook
Wash up
Pay for everything
Loads more

Add yer own...

slide geetar always did it for me, and dobro.
Leave a comment:
MaryPoppins replied

26 October 2013, 19:42
Originally posted by TykeMerc View Post

Maybe learn English 1st if after English girls, mind you with your txtspk generation using the right words probably is a turnoff, innit?

Definitely NOT.

Innit.
Leave a comment:
petergriffin replied

26 October 2013, 18:50
For a rough shag, roll your own cig:
Leave a comment:
RetSet replied

26 October 2013, 18:19
Learn to dance.

Properly.
Leave a comment:
NotAllThere replied

13 October 2013, 07:07
"Light relief" seems appropriate.
Leave a comment:
mudskipper replied

13 October 2013, 06:19
Most people aren't shagging as much as you think they are.
Leave a comment:
MarillionFan replied

13 October 2013, 06:14
How to get a shag

With a hood and a small lassoo on Orkney by the looks of it.
Leave a comment:
mudskipper replied

13 October 2013, 06:12
Originally posted by MyUserName View Post

Wrong thread, being a pedant belongs in the 'how not to get a shag' one.
Leave a comment:
MyUserName replied

13 October 2013, 00:00
Originally posted by TykeMerc View Post

No news there. It's a fair cop Guv' (innit).

Wrong thread, being a pedant belongs in the 'how not to get a shag' one.
Leave a comment:
bless 'em all replied

12 October 2013, 23:38
Originally posted by KentPhilip View Post

Be me

Fire your cleaner.

Or get married.
Leave a comment:
TykeMerc replied

12 October 2013, 23:16
Originally posted by Jeff Maginty

Pedant alert!

We got ourselves a pedant here people!

Watch out!

No news there. It's a fair cop Guv' (innit).
Leave a comment:
TykeMerc replied

12 October 2013, 22:45
Originally posted by MyUserName View Post

Where a full suit of polished plate armour
Win medieval combat tournaments

If you want women throwing themselves at you in groups - win jousting tournaments.

Maybe learn English 1st if after English girls, mind you with your txtspk generation using the right words probably is a turnoff, innit?
Leave a comment:
KentPhilip replied

12 October 2013, 22:16
Be me
Leave a comment:

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