Reply to: Contractors are like children

[kingcook]

That picture was slightly funny at first glance, then I got a bit disturbed by it, although I can't really explain why!

[kingcook]

Create an excel spreadsheet to calculate how much money you've earnt whilst having a dump?

I can do that in my head, I don't need a spreadsheet for that.

[kingcook]

I can ALWAYS find something to do in my 1st 2 weeks.

Create a PID for my time in project. Create a project approach. Dig out requirements. Build a stakeholder map. Begin a process architecture document. Create a PBS out of the architecture. Create an Excel spreadsheet plan out of the PBS.

And invoice.

Come on people - you're just not trying hard enough!

Saved... for when i start my next contract.

Cheers, Cojak

[vetran]

this will relax you!

Loud Howard on Dilbert.com

[CheeseSlice]

Another MF sockie?

Ok, only weeks 1-3 are true

[mudskipper]

I tend to learn the whole IT enterprise in about 1 week.
Then I suss out who are the useful people, the useless, and the backstabbing liars in week 2.
By the end of week 3 I've built an army of powerful allies at all levels of the food chain who I can deploy at will to crush opposition and fight my wars.
By the end of week 4 I'm the CTO
Week 5 I'm bored of the place, I hand in my notice then tap up Jobserve.

Another MF sockie?

[doodab]

I tend to learn the whole IT enterprise in about 1 week.
Then I suss out who are the useful people, the useless, and the backstabbing liars in week 2.
By the end of week 3 I've built an army of powerful allies at all levels of the food chain who I can deploy at will to crush opposition and fight my wars.
By the end of week 4 I'm the CTO
Week 5 I'm bored of the place, I hand in my notice then tap up Jobserve.

Why all the ******* around?

[CheeseSlice]

I can ALWAYS find something to do in my 1st 2 weeks.

Create a PID for my time in project. Create a project approach. Dig out requirements. Build a stakeholder map. Begin a process architecture document. Create a PBS out of the architecture. Create an Excel spreadsheet plan out of the PBS.

And invoice.

Come on people - you're just not trying hard enough!

I tend to learn the whole IT enterprise in about 1 week.
Then I suss out who are the useful people, the useless, and the backstabbing liars in week 2.
By the end of week 3 I've built an army of powerful allies at all levels of the food chain who I can deploy at will to crush opposition and fight my wars.
By the end of week 4 I'm the CTO
Week 5 I'm bored of the place, I hand in my notice then tap up Jobserve.

[cojak]

I can ALWAYS bullltulip for at least the 1st 2 weeks.

there is no end to the b0llocks you can convince the numpty permies is "useful groundwork"

And invoice.

Come on people - you're just not trying hard enough!

FTFY

[greenlake]

Permies are like children - they should be seen and not heard.

(Did I say she's LOUD?)

[Mulder]

Last time that happened to me I went home and told them to call me back in when I had a working pc and login.

Yes, I lost money but I can't bear the sheer torture of sitting round doing nothing while having to look busy.

I have been the opposite and sat on the phone making sure my access was setup for the next day and was fully setup by the end of the week. The PM said it was normally 2 weeks to even get past the first step!

[Dactylion]

I can ALWAYS bullltulip for at least the 1st 2 weeks.

there is no end to the b0llocks you can convince the numpty permies is "useful groundwork"

And invoice.

Come on people - you're just not trying hard enough!

FTFY

[mudskipper]

Not seeing any post from SMac in this thread?

Permies are like children - they should be seen and not heard.

(Did I say she's LOUD?)

[suityou01]

Her. I wish I'd had Simon Mac's quip to hand!

Not seeing any post from SMac in this thread?

[mudskipper]

I hope you called him out on this. Unacceptable behaviour.

Her. I wish I'd had Simon Mac's quip to hand!