Zero customer service: is this the future?

[eek]

I think I'm seeing a pattern here ...

Look at his tone in Technical and you will see why they don't want him as a customer. Especially when you look at the highly helpful "advice" he dishes out....

Ah this is general isn't it.

So I can call Peter the utter he proved himself to be in technical.....

[darmstadt]

I have a small amount of money of mine sitting at a bank and they don't want to return it and it's not technically in my account. There's no complaint procedure in place. We are talking of the enlightened and democratic Luxembourg. If they don't want me as a customer fine, just give me the f***ikng money back.

Insurance company n 1, 2 and 3 don't want me as a customer. Fine.

Mobile phone company 1,2,3,4 don't want me as a customer. Fine.

NL- and DE- internet retailer don't want me as a customer. Fine.

Question is, how do they make money from?

In the case of banks and insurance companies it could be they all live from the public purse, but I would expect a private retailer to be interested in not losing any single customer.

I think I'm seeing a pattern here ...

[petergriffin]

I have a small amount of money of mine sitting at a bank and they don't want to return it and it's not technically in my account. There's no complaint procedure in place. We are talking of the enlightened and democratic Luxembourg. If they don't want me as a customer fine, just give me the f***ikng money back.

Insurance company n 1, 2 and 3 don't want me as a customer. Fine.

Mobile phone company 1,2,3,4 don't want me as a customer. Fine.

NL- and DE- internet retailer don't want me as a customer. Fine.

Question is, how do they make money from?

In the case of banks and insurance companies it could be they all live from the public purse, but I would expect a private retailer to be interested in not losing any single customer.

[d000hg]

One thing I don't understand is why some companies take 3-7 days to reply to an email. If they're answering them at the same rate them come in (which they must be otherwise the reply time would end up being months) why not do it the same day or the day after? When councils do this I reckon they deliberately queue it a week...

[eek]

Clearly they don't want you as a customer (I didn't know credit agencies passed on the rating of possible customers). I get through to first direct after 1-2 rings.

But they do have a set of questions they need answered before they let you open an account and those answers have to be confirmed in person (its why they are not online). So either take the time to talk to them or stay at your current bank...

[psychocandy]

Pisses me off companies who advertise an email address then no-one ever checks it.

Don't understand why companies do this? An email query can be dealt with less urgently. Get email reply within 24 hours everyones happy.

Instead, companies have call centres, which make people call up for an answer NOW and then they moan that due to volume of calls you might have to call back later. Bollacks it is.

Having a big issue trying to move account to First Direct. They want me to phone them all the time and its not easy to get through. 0845 numbers only so when I'm on client site I use my mobile and it costs me. Also, tried to explain to them I can't sit all day on the phone to them...

[petergriffin]

Back in the good old days when I was a fresh tech support, our boss took a week's holiday and the customer service manager came and supervised us. He obviously knew jack sh*t of computers, so he would come up with this statement: "If it was for me, I would send the whole lot of you to the jobcentre and replace all tech support with secretaries".

So I asked: "What would you do if you got a call from a customer asking to troubleshoot a server?". He replied:"If they are an important customer we can't avoid to lose, apologize and send a new machine, otherwise tell them to **** off".

Later on the company ended up adopting his management style and despite offering zero tech support they are very profitable.

I think the next step would be replacing the secretaries with a fake web contact form that goes nowhere. Many web merchants already adopt this economic model. Customers have no alternative a can only STFU.

It's sad, but inevitable, to see this adopted by banks and insurance companies.

[NotAllThere]

In Switzerland, whether you get good service depends on whether the person you're dealing with did their apprenticeship within the last five years, or over twenty years ago. The idea of the "customer being always right" only slowly entered continental Europe. It's to do with the Napoleanic code.

[BrilloPad]

I don't really have a term of comparison because when I was in the UK I didn't really waste the whole day emailing companies or filling online forms

Did your wife do it? Maybe she was better at it than you.

If you want something done ask a woman. Its my excuse for doing fook all and letting my wife do it - unless it involves a rabbit I just don't care.

[AtW]

I had a few automated messages but no single email back.

It's 9pm on Saturday, you seriously expecting an email back from a big company?

[petergriffin]

I don't really have a term of comparison because when I was in the UK I didn't really waste the whole day emailing companies or filling online forms, but as long as I remember a private commercial entity should have somebody on their payroll dedicated to answer emails.

Now that I am in bloody cloggers I have spent a good part of my time contacting: agencies, banks, insurances, merchants of any kind. I had a few automated messages but no single email back.

Yes I had a call from an agency, but that's because they had me already on their database.

No replies from banks (ah those fcukers from ING LU), none from insurance companies, none from mobile phone companies.

And what can I do about it? Niks!

I think this will be the new trend for the future. You've read it here first.