Reply to: Oh for bloody hell's sake... (Christmas Thread)

[suityou01]

No, fudge nudger.

Ah, halcyon days eh?

[Mich the Tester]

Was that one of the games, like wet biscuit?

No, fudge nudger.

[suityou01]

Titter ye not!

Was that one of the games, like wet biscuit?

[Mich the Tester]

Prep school. <titter>

Titter ye not!

[suityou01]

Prep school. <titter>

[BigRed]

Bob Dylan did a Christmas album a few years ago. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Christmas-Th.../dp/B002MW50KO
This was one of the best songwriters and worst singers playing to his weakness.

[Peoplesoft bloke]

I hate them all the Band Aid one is really egregious, but I reserve special hatred for Jona ****** Lewie bastard cavalry wank

[vetran]

Its Kevin BL**dy Wilson so NSFW

Kevin Bloody Wilson - Christmas Song Lyrics

[darmstadt]

An old mate's one:

It's been building up
Now we're coming up
To the time of year when greed is good
Snow and icicles
The price triples
But you wouldn't change it if you could

The tills ring out like jingle bells
The kitchen's filled with murderous smells
No-one's going to end up hungry here
We'll snooze under the Xmas tree
While boring films play on T.V.
Forget about reality - cheers!

It's Xmas, Xmas, Xmas bloody Xmas
It's all you ever hear
Xmas, Xmas, Xmas bloody Xmas
Until it almost sounds sincere

Carol singers croon
Sentimental tunes
Suddenly your problems disappear
Am I losing touch
Or did I drink too much
Or is a real solution nowhere near?

This great big party never stops
Hang tinsel round your cardboard box
Last year's leftovers are back in the shops
And landfills spew out plastic bags
From lorryloads of booze and fags
God, don't you hate this time of year?

It's Xmas, Xmas, Xmas bloody Xmas
It's all you ever hear
Xmas, Xmas, Xmas bloody Xmas
Until it almost sounds sincere
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!


Under studio lights the Santas fry
In shows recorded last July
And tanned professionals read their lines
To moth-eaten reindeer
Play victim in fake-snowball fights
Where no-one's injured, no-one dies
No-one has to sleep outside
Freezing and in fear
Singing, "Goodwill to all mankind!"
We'll put things right some other time
Meanwhile - that special day is here

So happy Xmas, happy bloody Xmas
It almost sounds sincere
Happy Xmas, happy bloody Xmas
It almost sounds sincere
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

[Jubber]

When I was out in Holland at Christmas time there was always a spanish sounding song playing on the radio in the local bars (I was either at work or in the bar in those days) and I remember the owner telling me it was a Christmas song - what's it called?

[BoredBloke]

this one

Steel Panther - Sexy Santa - YouTube

[d000hg]

A friend is working on a Christian Christmas song as a bit of fun. Not sure if he's going to make it publicly available but I'll keep an eye/ear out.

[SimonMac]

Carol of the Bells and I Believe in Father Christmas ( Jeff Lake) are the only ones I find remotely acceptable. The rest are all Bollocks

I like the muppets version

[wurzel]

Was that his real name?

Apparently, yes

[Mich the Tester]

My old man used to have an LP called "It's a Wurlitzer Christmas" featuring all the Christmas classics played by Klaus Wunderlich on his Wurlitzer organ.

Must have a dig around in the attic. It was so bad it was good.

Was that his real name?