And another thing! - Contractor UK Bulletin Board

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SeekingIT replied

9 November 2013, 13:53
Originally posted by Paddy View Post

They are not refilling them, they are merely rinsing out after having a pee in them
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northernladuk replied

8 November 2013, 19:14
Originally posted by Old Greg View Post

An excellent idea. Ideally one would have one of those ice buckets on a stand, then take the whole lot to the gents and drink well chilled champagne out of the bottle while taking daily dump and posting on CUK. All on client time as well.

You, sir, are most certainly cut out for contracting.
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vetran replied

8 November 2013, 17:37
As a contractor ?:

The Royal Penis is clean on Vimeo
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doodab replied

8 November 2013, 17:22
Originally posted by oscarose View Post

Acceptance of others is the key here old boy.

A few times this week a certain person in the office visited the WC and didn't wash his hands and strolled straight back into meetings...

That's OK if you only have a piss.
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oscarose replied

8 November 2013, 17:09
Originally posted by Boney M View Post

I don't want your fricking germs you ignorant *******

Acceptance of others is the key here old boy.

A few times this week a certain person in the office visited the WC and didn't wash his hands and strolled straight back into meetings...

Last edited by oscarose; 8 November 2013, 17:11. Reason: into past tense :-)
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Ticktock replied

8 November 2013, 17:07
Originally posted by doodab View Post

Surely you don't propose to wipe your own backside?

I wouldn't have my sommelier do that. That would put the Keeper of the Used Banknotes out of work, and he's a nice chap.
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d000hg replied

8 November 2013, 17:05
I'm sure if you report this serious matter to HR they will launch a full-scale H&S assessment and then send out an all-staff email on the matter. You might even get a gold star for reporting this serious breach.
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doodab replied

8 November 2013, 17:04
Originally posted by Ticktock View Post

I'm not certain I'd want my sommelier coming into the traps with me. Or would he open the champers and hand it to me as I walked in?

Surely you don't propose to wipe your own backside?
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Old Greg replied

8 November 2013, 17:02
Originally posted by Ticktock View Post

I'm not certain I'd want my sommelier coming into the traps with me. Or would he open the champers and hand it to me as I walked in?

A deaf-blind midget is the preferred option.
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Ticktock replied

8 November 2013, 16:59
I'm not certain I'd want my sommelier coming into the traps with me. Or would he open the champers and hand it to me as I walked in?
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doodab replied

8 November 2013, 16:55
Originally posted by Old Greg View Post

An excellent idea. Ideally one would have one of those ice buckets on a stand, then take the whole lot to the gents and drink well chilled champagne out of the bottle while taking daily dump and posting on CUK. All on client time as well.

Now that's what I call contracting.
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Old Greg replied

8 November 2013, 16:52
Originally posted by doodab View Post

Why are you using client co's water dispenser? That's a massive IR35 fail for sure. You should be bringing your own bottled water in. Or champers.

An excellent idea. Ideally one would have one of those ice buckets on a stand, then take the whole lot to the gents and drink well chilled champagne out of the bottle while taking daily dump and posting on CUK. All on client time as well.
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Boney M replied

8 November 2013, 16:50
Who me NLUK?
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northernladuk replied

8 November 2013, 16:49
Man, you sound a delight to work with....
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Old Greg replied

8 November 2013, 16:47
Originally posted by Boney M View Post

What is it about colleagues in the office who refill their bottles of evian or whatever with water from the water dispenser but shoving the bottle top right up to the nozzle so it rubs their germs all over the place because they sit at their desk swigging out of the bottle.

I don't want your fricking germs you ignorant *******

Wait until the offender is at the water dispenser and then squeeze some knob pus onto his / her keyboard.
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