Reply to: Wedding speeches

[Old Hack]

Honestly MF, you, sorry, 'your friend' shouldn't try and be funny, it really will make a mockery of your best man. Stick to thanking the parents in law, telling everyone one funny anecdote about you and your wife (mine was about how we met), tell your wife how you're lucky to have her then sit down and endure 15 minutes of your best friend telling the audience some salacious things about you.

[Pondlife]

Yeah, but the speeches are after the meal. They're bound to have puked snakebite and black down them by that stage.

Still classy by usual standards. It's just snakebite not a new tattoo. It'll wash out.

[mudskipper]

Or just comment on their clean tracksuits. So white and shiny!

Yeah, but the speeches are after the meal. They're bound to have puked snakebite and black down them by that stage.

[Pondlife]

Yeah, you could rate them out of ten.

Or just comment on their clean tracksuits. So white and shiny!

[MarillionFan]

Says you, Drinky McTwat

Is this acceptable? My friend is now ad libbing? Begining of speech, early handover from Father in law. (having just slaughtered FIL on handover)

'In all seriousness, I'd like to thank X and Y and of course Volvo for that fateful night in the Z carpark in (insert town) 37 years ago for me being able to be here today?'

Thats good right?

[MaryPoppins]

Bit like your self control.

Says you, Drinky McTwat

[MarillionFan]

My indifference knows no limit.

Bit like your self control.

[MaryPoppins]

Do you want the cutting barbed reply to this or should I be nice?

My indifference knows no limit.

[mudskipper]

Do you want the cutting barbed reply to this or should I be nice?

Be nice - you need the practice.

[MarillionFan]

Yeah, you could rate them out of ten.

I'm not LinkedIn with them.

[MarillionFan]

Can't have done. Appears to have no friends to ask these questions of.

Do you want the cutting barbed reply to this or should I be nice?

[mudskipper]

Your job is not to be funny. That's the best mans job.
Your job is to thank whoever spoke before you/gave her away and to say nice things about the bridesmaids. ushers etc.

Yeah, you could rate them out of ten.

[MaryPoppins]

have you never been to a wedding before?

Can't have done. Appears to have no friends to ask these questions of.

[Pondlife]

Your job is not to be funny. That's the best mans job.
Your job is to thank whoever spoke before you/gave her away and to say nice things about the bridesmaids. ushers etc.


Your only role is to be sincere and to let them know that the best man is a liar.

[Zippy]

If he must..."Mother-in-law" is an anagram of "Woman Hitler".

Mazel tov!