• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Reply to: Chocolate Teapot

Collapse

You are not logged in or you do not have permission to access this page. This could be due to one of several reasons:

  • You are not logged in. If you are already registered, fill in the form below to log in, or follow the "Sign Up" link to register a new account.
  • You may not have sufficient privileges to access this page. Are you trying to edit someone else's post, access administrative features or some other privileged system?
  • If you are trying to post, the administrator may have disabled your account, or it may be awaiting activation.

Previously on "Chocolate Teapot"

Collapse

  • MarillionFan
    replied
    Originally posted by Churchill View Post
    How the **** are those two examples related apart from the fact that they both describe you?
    As useful as Churchill as a compere at a comedy night.

    Leave a comment:


  • xoggoth
    replied
    A more interesting question may be whether a fart in a wetsuit
    When I used to go potholing people used to pee in them too. We usually used to change back into normal clothes in a grotty little shed somewhere on the hillside. Phaw! Whatha stink.

    but it seems he needs a pair as they are checked during his election after the Pope Joan fiasco
    So Hitler would not have been allowed to be pope? That would have been most unfair.
    Last edited by xoggoth; 13 February 2012, 12:46.

    Leave a comment:


  • Churchill
    replied

    How the **** are those two examples related apart from the fact that they both describe you?

    Leave a comment:


  • d000hg
    replied
    Originally posted by amcdonald View Post
    I know someone who made a concrete canoe, whilst heavy it did float well
    Yeah there are loads of concrete boats, even a few concrete yachts IIRC. Never heard of a concrete canoe before though.

    Leave a comment:


  • amcdonald
    replied
    I know someone who made a concrete canoe, whilst heavy it did float well

    Leave a comment:


  • SimonMac
    replied
    Are we still allowed to say "As useful as a condom machine in the Vatican"?

    I used to say "As useful as a pair of balls on the Pope" but it seems he needs a pair as they are checked during his election after the Pope Joan fiasco

    Leave a comment:


  • SimonMac
    replied
    Originally posted by wim121 View Post
    Farting in a wetsuit is actually very good and helpful. Warms you up nicely.
    Pissing in the wetsuit does a much better job!

    Leave a comment:


  • d000hg
    replied
    Originally posted by doodab View Post
    Somebody actually made one. It turns out they aren't completely useless after all.

    How useless is a Chocolate Teapot? - Naked Scientists Kitchen Science 2008
    Old news: PCG presents chocolate teapot to Gordon Brown at Labour Party Conference | PCG - sadly I can't find any phot

    Leave a comment:


  • TimberWolf
    replied
    Originally posted by wim121 View Post
    Farting in a wetsuit is actually very good and helpful. Warms you up nicely.
    A more interesting question may be whether a fart in a wetsuit increases buoyancy, which I guess depends on whether the gas is more compressed inside the [warm] body also compressed by a wetsuit in turn compressed by the surrounding water, or outside of the body compressed by the wetsuit and [cold] water. Presumably trapped farts will increase in volume and buoyancy alarmingly as one shoots rapidly to the surface. Anyone got a can of beans and a wetsuit?

    Leave a comment:


  • wim121
    replied
    Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post
    Farting in a wetsuit is actually very good and helpful. Warms you up nicely.

    Leave a comment:


  • MarillionFan
    replied
    As useful as a

    Fart_in_a_wetsuit

    One_legged_man_in_an_arse_kicking_contest

    Leave a comment:


  • mudskipper
    replied
    Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post
    So, what'd you do with a third nipple?
    Whip it out for the cameras.
    http://videosift.com/video/Lily-Alle...her-3rd-nipple

    Leave a comment:


  • NotAllThere
    replied
    So, what'd you do with a third nipple?

    Leave a comment:


  • wobbegong
    replied
    Mythbusters made a lead balloon.

    Leave a comment:


  • OwlHoot
    replied
    and I imagine a concrete parachute might not be totally useless, if for example you wanted to slow the rate of descent of a spaceship in the atmosphere of a large gaseous planet with a dense atmosphere

    Leave a comment:

Working...
X