Reply to: Christian Joke

[northernladuk]

Two nuns in the bath

One said "Where's the soap?"

The other said, "Yes, doesn't it."

Kinda doesn't work in typed format that one I am afraid.

[KimberleyChris]

A young novice nun and an old mother superior are riding bicycles down a cobbled road.

The young novice suddenly goes all wobbly, then lets out a loud straining grunt and falls off her bike.
The old mother says "Don't worry dear, you just had an orgasm".
The novice tells her that she has never had one before.
The old mother reassures her, saying "Never mind, just say five 'Hail Marys' tonight.
"I'll have to say ten" says the novice.
"Why?"
"Well, we are coming back this way, aren't we?"

[d000hg]

Done that one...

Yes it does rather.

[mudskipper]

Two nuns in the bath

One said "Where's the soap?"

The other said, "Yes, doesn't it."

[BlasterBates]

Did you hear the one about the campanologist? She got ex-communicated because she kept pulling the Vicar's donger. Couldn't keep away from his bell end.

[pacharan]

Jesus walks into a botel

I've always wanted to stay in a botel as it happens. Very good one in Amsterdam by all accounts.

[northernladuk]

One night a blond nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her.

"My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish," said God.

"Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways," said the nun.

"There must be something you would have of me," said God.

"Well, there is one thing," she said.

"Just name it," said God.

"It's those blonde jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blonde jokes to stop."

"Consider it done," said God. "Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something that I could do just for you."

"There is one thing. But it's really small, and not worth your time," said the nun.

"Name it. Please," said God.

"It's the M&M's," said the blonde nun. "They're so hard to peel."

[MarillionFan]

Two nuns sitting down on a bench in a park when all of a sudden a flasher jumps out in front of them and starts waving his tackle at them. The first nun had a stroke...















































Wait for it....






































The second one couldn't reach.

[northernladuk]

I love Jesus yes I do
Baked or broiled or in a stew
I love Jesus yes siree
fried or grilled or fricasee

With peas or corn or even yams
Eat your Jesus fresh or canned
No substitutes don't fall for shams
no need to even wash your hands

Cook your Jesus in the crunch
Kids love Jesus for their lunch
I love Jesus yes I do
I love Jesus you will too

Could you hum the first few lines so we can get the song please...

[russell]

Jesus was raised form the dead after 3 days. Jesus walked on water The earth is only 5000 years old.

Take your pick.

[BrilloPad]

I love Jesus yes I do
Baked or broiled or in a stew
I love Jesus yes siree
fried or grilled or fricasee

With peas or corn or even yams
Eat your Jesus fresh or canned
No substitutes don't fall for shams
no need to even wash your hands

Cook your Jesus in the crunch
Kids love Jesus for their lunch
I love Jesus yes I do
I love Jesus you will too

[BrilloPad]

Jesus walks into a botel, hands the innkeeper three nails and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"

[northernladuk]

Two nuns is a car and someone jumps on the bonnet, Sister one tells the other "Show them your Cross" Sister Two shouts at them "Piss off knob jockey"

FTFY.. Thread might be saveable now

[BrilloPad]

Jesus is hanging on the cross, and peter is standing in the crowd watching him. Jesus calls to him "Peter! Come to me!" and Peter runs forward. The Romans beat him mercilessly with their spears and throw him back. Again, Jesus cries out "Peter! Come to your savior!" and Peter rushes forward, to again be pounded silly by bored roman guards. dazed, he hears Jesus call him once more and surges through the guards, filled with holy strength.
"Yes my lord! What do you need o son of god?!!" he cries, not feeling the horrible wounds covering his body from the multiple savage beatings.
And Jesus spake: "Peter...I can see your house from here."

[d000hg]

Yes it does rather.