The old 'mount a shrivelled monkeys head on a stick, in order to jump the housing queue' trick , eh ?
the bounder
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Ah yes !
The old 'mount a shrivelled monkeys head on a stick, in order to jump the housing queue' trick , eh ?
the bounder
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What were all those numbers? Some sort of Fibbonaci sequence I'll be bound.Originally posted by milanbenes View Post
Sorry for not replying sooner but on Fridays I have my weekly trip to the carvery for lunch, they do great deals for pensioners, and their spotted dick is quite frankly heavenly.
I had one too many dry sherrys and ended up locking wit with another octogenarian, the subject matter being the world of witchcraft. He was absolutely convinced that their is nothing to the dark arts and it's all a lot of mumbo jumbo. I eventually won the argument with some well timed anecdotes from my time spent in Kenya during the second world war.
I was stationed in a little village near to Nairobi called Rhino kinyesi karibu na kilima ant, loosely translated "Rhino droppings near the ant hill". The whole village was very fond of their witch doctor, who the locals simply called Nywele moja, or "The hairy one", which was a hoot as he was quite bald. Apparenty in his youth he was particuarly hairy but one of his potions went not according to plan and all his hair fell out.
One day the entire regiment was struck down with ameobic dysentry, including the medical staff. We were all particularly ill, and the 4 makeshift cubicles were constantly occupied with long queues out into the street. Word spread of our predicament and the nearest unit was over a day away so we were in grave danger unless we could get medical staff and medical supplies to our regiment.
Nywele moja came out of his mud hut, and started to dance and holler around the cubicles waving a dried shrivelled monkey head on a stick and chanting some weird incantations. That very moment a jeep carrying on board and army medic, a bumper pack of pink andrex and a 25 litre drum of pepto bismol just happened to be passing
I ask you, mere coincidence? Well the regiment were saved before we had defecated out our livers, and the Hairy one was granted the Victoria Cross presented by his majesty King George VI, and given a council flat in Colindale where I believe he still lives.
Nice chatting, but I have to head off now for Tiffin.
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Originally posted by MrChomondleyWarner View PostFestive greetings,
It is I, the great Mr Chomondley-Warner. I have long been retired but as you know have an interest in all things futuristic/scientific, and like to keep current. Hopefully you will let me into your forum to not only learn and observe but also to contribute from my vast wealth of knowledge.
My housekeeper, Ellie-Mae, has been on at me for months now to join up. I don't usually listen to the nonsense spouted from overly precocious women folk, let alone those in my employ, but on this one occasion I have granted her a little slack. This is very modern isn't it?
Anyway, before I ramble on, I would be keen to engage with the learned folk on here about current affairs, popular culture, the arts, and how you arrange your shag.
Looking forward to my time on here with gay abandon.
Yours,
Reggie
Creative writing course going well then ?
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Welcoming Mr Chomondley-Warner
Festive greetings,
It is I, the great Mr Chomondley-Warner. I have long been retired but as you know have an interest in all things futuristic/scientific, and like to keep current. Hopefully you will let me into your forum to not only learn and observe but also to contribute from my vast wealth of knowledge.
My housekeeper, Ellie-Mae, has been on at me for months now to join up. I don't usually listen to the nonsense spouted from overly precocious women folk, let alone those in my employ, but on this one occasion I have granted her a little slack. This is very modern isn't it?
Anyway, before I ramble on, I would be keen to engage with the learned folk on here about current affairs, popular culture, the arts, and how you arrange your shag.
Looking forward to my time on here with gay abandon.
Yours,
Reggie
Cholmondley
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