Reply to: Social skills at work\Being introverted

[Spacecadet]

I hate it when someone thinks it's ok to witter on about inane drivel, or endlessly repeat the same answer multiple ways when I have asked them a simple question and I am trying to tear myself away having got the response. I

IMO people who lack the ability to see when someone else is glazing over as a result of their tedious stories are the ones short of social skills

[shaunbhoy]

I'm often happiest with my head in a computer guts

Oh Dear............

[AtW]

Is safe to assume those most of those rioters are extraverts who are not shy to be on camera?

[Platypus]

Oh, massively unoriginal of me to copy NLUK but this one may also suit the OP

[Platypus]

Wonder if the OP is writing this wearing his fave tee-shirt

Brilliant! I just wish I was geeky enough (and slim enough) to wear it!

[northernladuk]

I took my client to an Indian restaurant and was accused of currying favour.

I took my last client out for a night out just before renewal time but forgot he was dyslexic. The look on his face when he asked me why I would cook his socks......

[NotAllThere]

I took my client to an Indian restaurant and was accused of currying favour.

[russell]

Well I'm definitely a computer geek. Just find computer stuff really interesting.

As far as social skills go I'd say I'm not the best but definitely in the better 50% of the average IT crowd. I can and do switch it on when required but it's just not something I enjoy.

I see people make careers out of padding around offices making chit chat and I am aware that my refusal to curry favour in this way has cost me money.

I am conscious about working on it but it just seems so bloody ridiculous.

You recognise the problem so you will be ok, its the guys who refuse to or are oblivous that will have a problem.

[EternalOptimist]

I think you have a problem(albeit a little one), you have worked out a solution and applied it.

Typical contractor imo, well done sir

[DieScum]

You sound like the typical computer geek, zero social skills and antisocial.

Well I'm definitely a computer geek. Just find computer stuff really interesting.

As far as social skills go I'd say I'm not the best but definitely in the better 50% of the average IT crowd. I can and do switch it on when required but it's just not something I enjoy.

I see people make careers out of padding around offices making chit chat and I am aware that my refusal to curry favour in this way has cost me money.

I am conscious about working on it but it just seems so bloody ridiculous.

[NotAllThere]

It's entirely possible if you are naturally introverted to learn how to be extrovert. People are often surprised to find out that my entire personality is an artificial construct.

[xoggoth]

Isn't that my Netgear router?

[northernladuk]

You sound like the typical computer geek, zero social skills and antisocial. If you want to be succesful you have to speak to people, if you are findin small talk dull then inject some humour in.

Wonder if the OP is writing this wearing his fave tee-shirt

[xoggoth]

Good lord! I don't remember posting this but you are plainly me so I must have done.

Actually, I think fairly unsociable people are sometimes best at presentations or formal meetings, they are far less worried about getting it wrong or how they look than the social extravert. I did a fair number of sales presentations and was once in a job when I took customers to lunch, I made sure it didn't go on so long that I ran out of small talk.

My only real embarrasment was going to collect an important American client at the airport and forgetting where I'd parked the car!

[russell]

How introverted or extroverted are you at work?

I'm one of those guys who gets tired after too much social interaction and to relax I really need to be me on my own. I'm often happiest with my head in a computer guts deep in a tricky problem or beautiful design.

Despite being introverted I like to think I'm a normal, decent chap. I'm polite, I'll make a bit of small talk and if I get on with someone I'll make real talk. I can also put on a mask and be the extrovert sales type at interviews, customer meetings. I've also trained hundreds of people and spoken in front of hundreds at conferences so I'm not shy and retiring. I actually authored and delivered a soft skills presentation course for consultants once upon a time.

I find office small talk incredibly annoying though. I hate it when someone thinks it's ok to witter on about inane drivel, or endlessly repeat the same answer multiple ways when I have asked them a simple question and I am trying to tear myself away having got the response. I find it annoying when I am expected to come in and give a cheery hello to everyone every morning. I hate gigs where you sit around with f all to do and are expected to just turn up look good in a suit and make small talk.

If I'm away on business with people from the same company I don't particularly like going on the same plane with them or going to dinner in the evening after a full day working with them.

I suppose a lot of people think I am a miserable git and it has cost me work wise a few times.

I'm trying to get better and put on the mask every morning as I say my cheery hellos and make dull small talk.

How introverted/extroverted are you and how does it affect your business?

You sound like the typical computer geek, zero social skills and antisocial. If you want to be succesful you have to speak to people, if you are findin small talk dull then inject some humour in.