Reply to: cricketing question

[Doggy Styles]

If I wasn't so unpopular I'd leave you a bit of +ve for that carefully considered response but, because I have such a poor rating, I don't have the wherewithal I'm afraid.

I wouldn't worry about that. I don't understand it anyway.

[gricerboy]

If I wasn't so unpopular I'd leave you a bit of +ve for that carefully considered response but, because I have such a poor rating, I don't have the wherewithal I'm afraid.

[Doggy Styles]

It has been brought to my attention that it would be socially expedient for me to partake in the game of cricket.

I therefore would like to pose some questions regarding the rules and regulations thereof.

When a cricket player makes a catch, he is often seen to launch the ball high into the air in an act of flamboyant celebration. I have noticed this occurring before the umpire has raised his finger so if the player were to drop the ball, could the umpire declare the batsman not out?

Why is there sometimes a helmet on the ground behind the wickie?

What is a "leggy"? I know the term refers to leg spinner but does this mean they aim at the batsmans legs or does it refer to an action performed with the legs during the act of bowling?

It's quite important for me to understand the rules of the game otherwise the people with whom I wish to ingratiate myself will think I am some kind of misfit.

Finally, what fielding position would be best for me given that I am such a butterfingers?

As a long-time player of village cricket, I might be able to help you avoid making a faux pas with these matters.

So what was first, oh yes, the catch celebration. The umpire will judge whether the fielder was fully in control of the ball before his celebratory lob. If he wasn't, such as the famous case involving Hershelle Gibbs in a world cup match a few years ago, he will give the batsman not out.

Your helmet is for when you field close to the bat, where you are in danger of being hit by a full-blooded shot. When not in use, you place your helmet behind the wicket-keeper because that is deemed the place least likely to interfere with play. Incidentally, if the ball hits your unmanned helmet, the batting side gets five penalty runs.

A leggy, or "leg-break", is a spinning ball that jerks away to the right of a batsman on bouncing. As opposed to an offy, or "off-break", which jerks the other way. There are complications involving left-arm bowlers, doosras, googlies and chinamen, but don't worry about them. In fact, it is socially OK to ask your new chums what a chinaman is. I've known so-called expert cricket pundits in the media get this wrong.

Butterfingers are hidden at third man or fine leg, because in village cricket they are least likely to be presented with a catching opportunity in those places.

I hope all this helps you enjoy your game.

[xoggoth]

He knows more about cricket than I do anyway and a whole lot more than I want to know.

[Platypus]

a glistening azure sea.

Humm that's not how I characterise CUK tese days, it's become very quiet and often dull

[OwlHoot]

If you don't like gricer's posts, just avoid them.

I find them quite amusing, like jewels glistening in a sea of sh1te.

Although most of them are more like sh1te floating in a glistening azure sea.

[d000hg]

You just encourage him to clutter the board with his tulip, which then encourages more people to start rolling out the sockies as well.

I'm incredulous that I've found someone who finds them amusing though. I might do a poll.

He posts about once a week.

[Incognito]

If you don't like gricer's posts, just avoid them.

I find them quite amusing, like jewels glistening in a sea of sh1te.

You just encourage him to clutter the board with his tulip, which then encourages more people to start rolling out the sockies as well.

I'm incredulous that I've found someone who finds them amusing though. I might do a poll.

[DaveB]

If you don't like gricer's posts, just avoid them.

I find them quite amusing, like turds glistening in a sea of sh1te.

FTFY

[Platypus]

Listen, away and **** off you really are a thick **** if you think anyone for a minute believes any of the tulipe that comes out of your mouth.

Sad deluded individual that thinks it's amusing to create some fictional character and can't even carry it off convincingly.

If you don't like gricer's posts, just avoid them.

I find them quite amusing, like jewels glistening in a sea of sh1te.

[Platypus]

Try telling Malc that!

Oh dear

[Incognito]

Try telling Malc that!

Listen, away and **** off you really are a thick **** if you think anyone for a minute believes any of the tulipe that comes out of your mouth.

Sad deluded individual that thinks it's amusing to create some fictional character and can't even carry it off convincingly.

[gricerboy]

it doesn't matter so much if the balls slips between your fingers.

Try telling Malc that!

[Platypus]

Finally, what fielding position would be best for me given that I am such a butterfingers?

In the slips - named specifically because it doesn't matter so much if the balls slips between your fingers.

[TheFaQQer]

I therefore would like to pose some questions regarding the rules and regulations thereof.

Cricket doesn't have rules and regulations - it has laws.