• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Reply to: Ouch

Collapse

You are not logged in or you do not have permission to access this page. This could be due to one of several reasons:

  • You are not logged in. If you are already registered, fill in the form below to log in, or follow the "Sign Up" link to register a new account.
  • You may not have sufficient privileges to access this page. Are you trying to edit someone else's post, access administrative features or some other privileged system?
  • If you are trying to post, the administrator may have disabled your account, or it may be awaiting activation.

Previously on "Ouch"

Collapse

  • suityou01
    replied
    Originally posted by doodab View Post
    Eat more fibre, at least then you will know where you stand.
    Exactly. Fibre supplements make me feel like I'm passing hay bails. Sitting not an option.

    Leave a comment:


  • DaveB
    replied
    Originally posted by EternalOptimist View Post
    It's not much fun having the opposite problem either.
    I spend half my life terrified of doing a fart in case I sh1t myself




    I know the feeling. Got a dose of Tut's Revenge after visiting Egypyt a few years back. Took almost two weeks to clear up. Being able to fart with confidence again was a huge relief.

    Leave a comment:


  • doodab
    replied
    Originally posted by EternalOptimist View Post
    It's not much fun having the opposite problem either.
    I spend half my life terrified of doing a fart in case I sh1t myself
    Eat more fibre, at least then you will know where you stand.

    Leave a comment:


  • suityou01
    replied
    Originally posted by EternalOptimist View Post
    It's not much fun having the opposite problem either.
    I spend half my life terrified of doing a fart in case I sh1t myself




    You should never trust a fart at your age, you will only be betrayed.

    Leave a comment:


  • EternalOptimist
    replied
    It's not much fun having the opposite problem either.
    I spend half my life terrified of doing a fart in case I sh1t myself




    Leave a comment:


  • doodab
    replied
    Originally posted by doodab View Post
    Will this work for the ones that have made a break for it?
    Well there you go, two days on the museli and I'm back to logging like a multinational in a rainforest and I can sit down comfortably again.

    Leave a comment:


  • mudskipper
    replied
    Originally posted by SueEllen View Post


    At least you can smell them. I even try and leave the bathroom.
    I've always assumed that the Pride in London Pride is the smell the following day - "I made that" - a real sense of achievement!

    Leave a comment:


  • amcdonald
    replied
    Originally posted by gingerjedi View Post
    I had a weekend of extreme beer drinking in Bruges and conversely my arse has never felt better.
    Was it the prostitutes or the midgets in Bruges ?

    Leave a comment:


  • amcdonald
    replied
    Originally posted by SueEllen View Post
    I do a big dump after a heavy drinking session. No coffee involved. No force either.
    And I just thought it was a bloke thing

    Leave a comment:


  • doodab
    replied
    Originally posted by BlasterBates View Post
    But if you eat roughage for a few weeks they just clear up.

    Just need to change your diet, eat lots of fruit.

    ...oh and don't push so hard, drink plenty of water let it "ferment" for a while, or take some constipation tablets.
    Originally posted by ChrisPackit View Post
    Plenty of Senokot tablets and some Preparation H will do the trick for them Nobby Stiles ...
    Will this work for the ones that have made a break for it?

    Leave a comment:


  • Clippy
    replied
    Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post
    The end of my nob is sore after a weekend of indefatigable ing.

    Any advice from you experts here?
    Stop using a cheese grater.

    Leave a comment:


  • DimPrawn
    replied
    The end of my nob is sore after a weekend of indefatigable ing.

    Any advice from you experts here?

    Leave a comment:


  • gingerjedi
    replied
    Originally posted by doodab View Post
    After a weekend of fairly heavy drinking the roids are playing up this morning.

    Has anyone had "band ligation"? How much does it hurt? If it's less than the current sensation of tulipting broken bottles I might actually go to the doctors.
    I had a weekend of extreme beer drinking in Bruges and conversely my arse has never felt better.

    11% Trappist ale followed by frites and Samurai mayo... I guess it barely touched the sides.

    Leave a comment:


  • ChrisPackit
    replied
    Plenty of Senokot tablets and some Preparation H will do the trick for them Nobby Stiles ...

    Leave a comment:


  • BlasterBates
    replied
    But if you eat roughage for a few weeks they just clear up.

    Just need to change your diet, eat lots of fruit.

    ...oh and don't push so hard, drink plenty of water let it "ferment" for a while, or take some constipation tablets.
    Last edited by BlasterBates; 9 March 2011, 15:30.

    Leave a comment:

Working...
X