Ouch

[ChrisPackit]

Plenty of Senokot tablets and some Preparation H will do the trick for them Nobby Stiles ...

[gingerjedi]

After a weekend of fairly heavy drinking the roids are playing up this morning.

Has anyone had "band ligation"? How much does it hurt? If it's less than the current sensation of tulipting broken bottles I might actually go to the doctors.

I had a weekend of extreme beer drinking in Bruges and conversely my arse has never felt better.

11% Trappist ale followed by frites and Samurai mayo... I guess it barely touched the sides.

[DimPrawn]

The end of my nob is sore after a weekend of indefatigable ing.

Any advice from you experts here?

[Clippy]

The end of my nob is sore after a weekend of indefatigable ing.

Any advice from you experts here?

Stop using a cheese grater.

[doodab]

But if you eat roughage for a few weeks they just clear up.

Just need to change your diet, eat lots of fruit.

...oh and don't push so hard, drink plenty of water let it "ferment" for a while, or take some constipation tablets.

Plenty of Senokot tablets and some Preparation H will do the trick for them Nobby Stiles ...

Will this work for the ones that have made a break for it?

[amcdonald]

I do a big dump after a heavy drinking session. No coffee involved. No force either.

And I just thought it was a bloke thing

[amcdonald]

I had a weekend of extreme beer drinking in Bruges and conversely my arse has never felt better.

Was it the prostitutes or the midgets in Bruges ?

[mudskipper]

At least you can smell them. I even try and leave the bathroom.

I've always assumed that the Pride in London Pride is the smell the following day - "I made that" - a real sense of achievement!

[doodab]

Will this work for the ones that have made a break for it?

Well there you go, two days on the museli and I'm back to logging like a multinational in a rainforest and I can sit down comfortably again.

[EternalOptimist]

It's not much fun having the opposite problem either.
I spend half my life terrified of doing a fart in case I sh1t myself