Reply to: Slowing Bob Down

[AtW]

Would you hire ICT workers?

ICT implies having a daugher company abroad, we are not there yet.

[rsingh]

Maybe you could plug a 2nd mouse into his computer which you can control - maybe one of those wireless ones. Then you can start dicking with his cursor when he's trying to work.

The M and N keys on most keyboards will pop out without much effort. Swap them around and let the hilarity ensue... unless he's a touch-typist in which case he is hardcore and I'd leave well the **** alone for fear of embarrassing yourself.

[CheeseSlice]

I've taken your advice on board and decided to tie his shoe laces together.

I may go for the boot polish on a pair of binoculars later.

Maybe you could plug a 2nd mouse into his computer which you can control - maybe one of those wireless ones. Then you can start dicking with his cursor when he's trying to work.

[conned tractor]

I've taken your advice on board and decided to tie his shoe laces together.

I may go for the boot polish on a pair of binoculars later.

[TykeMerc]

I've got a doctorate.

As a Giant Alien Lizard your teeth add a whole new dimension to "biting someones head off", that's advanced qualification without even trying.

[d000hg]

If one guy working overtime can show everyone up, he must be pretty good considering most contractors here boast about being able to do more in a couple of hours than a permie does in a day/week**. Sounds like a keeper to me.


**adjust for ego

[Mich the Tester]

Help, Bob's doing my melon in...

Have been working for current clientco for around 12 months so have feet nicely under the table. I'm reasonably quick at completing assigned tasks and normally hit timescales.

The working processes have just changed and everyone is taking longer than expected on their assigned tasks - Management do not have a problem with this as we are trialing the new process for them (it saves time further down the line) and have set arbitrary targets based on previous timescales. However Bob, sh!tting himself to fall behind, has taken it upon himself to work 2+ hours over each day and started coming in on the occasional weekend to get it finished without extra pay - making it look normally achievable.

Should I form a union? Or steal his bobble hat?

Tell your PM he needs to hire a tester to 'ensure quality and increase the productivity of the strongest developers'. That´ll slow Bob down. (unless he´s really good and you´re crap, in which case ingore this advice)

[NotAllThere]

Worked once with a chap from the Phillipines who was like that. He was sorted out after we introduced him to the extended pub lunch. And got him very drunk one evening so he was disgustingly hungover the next day.

Fitted into the UK work ethic very nicely after that. Ruined for the Phillipines of course.

[CheeseSlice]

I used to work somewhere with lots of ICT workers, although in different roles to my own. Some of them would absolutely work themselves to death to please their customers. I've always thought that perhaps they live with the worry of being sent home early and unable to provide for their families back home.

As much as I'm not a fan of the glut of ICTs flooding our market place, I'm more against the slave drivers who take advantage of the Indian work ethic.

When I knew the managers were decent human beings at this place, I often pointed out to them (or just made it impossible not to overhear) that Bob has been working all weekend or all night, looks tired,.. what on earth was he thinking of?, etc. I once managed to get a guy sent home to get some sleep because he had been working all night and attempted to work a full 9->5:30 afterwards.

[Zippy]

Yup, post grad certificate in fact

Oops.

[TykeMerc]

Ah, I see you are a graduate of the Ghengis Khan School of Management.

Yup, post grad certificate in fact

[Zippy]

Had you considered a baseball bat with a massive rusty nail through it?

Ah, I see you are a graduate of the Ghengis Khan School of Management.

[TykeMerc]

Had you considered a baseball bat with a massive rusty nail through it?

[d000hg]

He is doing what it takes to achieve what he clearly desires (permanent residency in UK most likely).

If you are so ****ing good then work smart and do in less hours what he does in more - then you can have a laugh, but not before.

Would you hire ICT workers?

[Zippy]

He is doing what it takes to achieve what he clearly desires (permanent residency in UK most likely).

If you are so ****ing good then work smart and do in less hours what he does in more - then you can have a laugh, but not before.

Surely the clever thing to do is to make sure everyone (i.e. da boss) knows that he's working much longer hours to achieve the same results?