Me: "Where this week's Monday links?"
Public sector 'employee': "What links?"
Me: "FFS. We agreed you would have the links ready for Monday morning."
Public sector 'employee': "Err. The dog ate them."
Me: "You said that last week."
Public sector 'employee': "Oh. Err, Granny had a heart attack."
Me: "You've buried three grannies already. And five grandads."
Public sector 'employee': "Oh, err, no not granny, me."
Me: "What? You ate the links?"
Public sector 'employee': "No, had a heart attack. I had a heart attack, that was it."
Me: "What? You buried you? You couldn't do the links because you buried you?"
Public sector 'employee': "No, I had heart attack. I've been off sick. With a heart attack."
Me: "Riiiiiiight. A heart attack. Self-certificated too, I take it. Hmm. Thought so. So you couldn't post one little message - which is all that was required of you in an entire week - because you 'had a heart attack'? Just half a dozen links, copy 'n' paste 'n' post, but you couldn't do it, because of 'a heart attack'."
NF, are you quite sure it was a heart attack, and not just an infarction from realityhack?




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