Reply to: Best Man Speech

[Alf W]

Forget the speech. what have they lined up for you Head Bridesmaid wise? Have they gone for the traditional 'Chubby friend in a ghastly pink dress' to make the bride look good or have they lined up something special?

[Ruprect]

Ladies and gentlemen, if there's anybody here this afternoon who's feeling nervous, apprehensive and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it's probably because you have just got married to <groom>

Not bad

[OwlHoot]

Maybe I'm a bit out of touch; but I thought a Best Man speech was supposed to be slightly saucy here and there, rather than one long Roy Chubby Brown sketch.

What must the grandparents think?

[northernladuk]

I also added a few comedy best wishes comments at the end just before the toast for minor unrelated giggles...

Can't remember the wording I used but can just be one liners..

Dave and ann say best wishes and enjoy the three rings of marriage, the wedding ring, the enduring and the suffering...

Best wishes from all at Madama Geegee's dungeon in (whereever stag do was) and can you advise when you will be back to pick up your blow up sheep.

Well done from the football lads, (wifes name), after 2 years of seeing his terrible performance on the pitch we hope you fare better

blahh blahh

Cheesy crap but if you have delivered a good speech they should be giddy enough to appreciate them as a 5 min wind down at the end.

[Scrag Meister]

I got married in June and didn't have 1 speech, oh joy.

[Sysman]

I went to a wedding where the best man had contrived a 30 minute speech packed full of in-jokes that only the grooms closest friends would know about, whilst they giggled like schoolboys 90% of the guests were looking at their watches.

I attended a wedding where the best man did private family jokes and it was awful. Our side of the family hadn't a clue what it was all about.

You should also keep the smut, innuendoes and bad language under control. It can easily offend.

[gingerjedi]

Just remember people want to laugh with you, reel out some classics and throw in a few short personal anecdotes and never say anything even slightly derogatory about the bride, 10 minutes max.

I went to a wedding where the best man had contrived a 30 minute speech packed full of in-jokes that only the grooms closest friends would know about, whilst they giggled like schoolboys 90% of the guests were looking at their watches.

I went to another wedding in France where the French side of the family didn't see the relevance of a best mans speech and just continued to chat loudly amongst themselves whilst the poor bloke died on his feet.

[chef]

Ladies and gentlemen, if there's anybody here this afternoon who's feeling nervous, apprehensive and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it's probably because you have just got married to <groom>

[chef]

wow, google is pretty quick

[FiveTimes]

I've been asked to be best man and XXX said if I do a good job I can be best man at his next wedding

[FiveTimes]

There are obviously two very important people here today, without whom very little of this would have been possible. And the great thing is that as the evening progresses, most of us will get to spend more and more time talking with them. So please join me in a very special toast – to the bar staff!

I actually used this one.

Got this one also

[doodab]

This is going to be quite a short speech because xxx made me promise not to mention the drugs or the whores...

[NotAllThere]

Lighting a barbeque is very much like making love to a beautiful woman...
... you've got to fire her up, make sure the main dish is well marinated, carefully position your vegetables, and then unwrap your sausage.

or something.

[gingerjedi]

There are obviously two very important people here today, without whom very little of this would have been possible. And the great thing is that as the evening progresses, most of us will get to spend more and more time talking with them. So please join me in a very special toast – to the bar staff!

I actually used this one.

[MaryPoppins]

Ah, we've found MP's level.

I thought everyone had sussed my level a long time ago.