Best Man Speech

[gingerjedi]

There are obviously two very important people here today, without whom very little of this would have been possible. And the great thing is that as the evening progresses, most of us will get to spend more and more time talking with them. So please join me in a very special toast – to the bar staff!

I actually used this one.

[NotAllThere]

Lighting a barbeque is very much like making love to a beautiful woman...
... you've got to fire her up, make sure the main dish is well marinated, carefully position your vegetables, and then unwrap your sausage.

or something.

[doodab]

This is going to be quite a short speech because xxx made me promise not to mention the drugs or the whores...

[FiveTimes]

There are obviously two very important people here today, without whom very little of this would have been possible. And the great thing is that as the evening progresses, most of us will get to spend more and more time talking with them. So please join me in a very special toast – to the bar staff!

I actually used this one.

Got this one also

[FiveTimes]

I've been asked to be best man and XXX said if I do a good job I can be best man at his next wedding

[chef]

wow, google is pretty quick

[chef]

Ladies and gentlemen, if there's anybody here this afternoon who's feeling nervous, apprehensive and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it's probably because you have just got married to <groom>

[gingerjedi]

Just remember people want to laugh with you, reel out some classics and throw in a few short personal anecdotes and never say anything even slightly derogatory about the bride, 10 minutes max.

I went to a wedding where the best man had contrived a 30 minute speech packed full of in-jokes that only the grooms closest friends would know about, whilst they giggled like schoolboys 90% of the guests were looking at their watches.

I went to another wedding in France where the French side of the family didn't see the relevance of a best mans speech and just continued to chat loudly amongst themselves whilst the poor bloke died on his feet.

[Sysman]

I went to a wedding where the best man had contrived a 30 minute speech packed full of in-jokes that only the grooms closest friends would know about, whilst they giggled like schoolboys 90% of the guests were looking at their watches.

I attended a wedding where the best man did private family jokes and it was awful. Our side of the family hadn't a clue what it was all about.

You should also keep the smut, innuendoes and bad language under control. It can easily offend.

[Scrag Meister]

I got married in June and didn't have 1 speech, oh joy.