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Reply to: I feel so proud

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Previously on "I feel so proud"

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  • oracleslave
    replied
    Originally posted by AlfredJPruffock View Post
    The average Cyberman in the home he call his castle slips into his national costume, a shabby raincoat, patented by Chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland.

    En-route to his office he strides along the lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland.

    He drives a car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop, Veterinary Surgeon of Dreghorn, Scotland.

    At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chalmers, Bookseller and Printer of Dundee, Scotland.

    During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland. At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, Blacksmith of Thornhill, Dumfriesshire, Scotland.

    He watches the news on television, an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland, and hears an item about the U.S. Navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland.


    He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the Bible, only to find that the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot, King James VI, who authorized its translation.

    He could take to drink but the Scots make the best in the world.

    He could take a rifle and end it all, but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland.

    If he escaped death, he could find himself on an operating table injected with penicillin, discovered by Sir Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland, and given chloroform, an anesthetic discovered by Sir James Young Simpson, Obstetrician and Gynecologist of Bathgate, Scotland.

    Out of the anesthetic he would find no comfort in learning that he was as safe as the Bank of England founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.
    Nice one Alf.

    Leave a comment:


  • sasguru
    replied
    Originally posted by wobbegong View Post
    I thought the latter of the two sounded quite Sassy.
    That, sir, is an insult
    My sockies have some credibility I'll have you know.
    Chetty is the work of a very poor amateur.

    Leave a comment:


  • wobbegong
    replied
    Originally posted by Pondlife View Post
    I have a suspicion that this is just Shellfish behaviour.
    I thought the latter of the two sounded quite Sassy.

    Leave a comment:


  • Pondlife
    replied
    Originally posted by wobbegong View Post
    . . . own up. Whose sockys are 'Cyberman' and 'chetty?'

    I have a suspicion that this is just Shellfish behaviour.

    Leave a comment:


  • wobbegong
    replied
    Come on now . . .

    . . . own up. Whose sockys are 'Cyberman' and 'chetty?'

    Leave a comment:


  • darmstadt
    replied
    Last night I read that the word Tory comes from the followers of Charles II and means 'Irish Rebels' and Whigs were on the other side and means 'Thieving Scots.'

    Leave a comment:


  • AlfredJPruffock
    replied
    The average Cyberman in the home he call his castle slips into his national costume, a shabby raincoat, patented by Chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland.

    En-route to his office he strides along the lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland.

    He drives a car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop, Veterinary Surgeon of Dreghorn, Scotland.

    At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chalmers, Bookseller and Printer of Dundee, Scotland.

    During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland. At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, Blacksmith of Thornhill, Dumfriesshire, Scotland.

    He watches the news on television, an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland, and hears an item about the U.S. Navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland.


    He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the Bible, only to find that the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot, King James VI, who authorized its translation.

    He could take to drink but the Scots make the best in the world.

    He could take a rifle and end it all, but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland.

    If he escaped death, he could find himself on an operating table injected with penicillin, discovered by Sir Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland, and given chloroform, an anesthetic discovered by Sir James Young Simpson, Obstetrician and Gynecologist of Bathgate, Scotland.

    Out of the anesthetic he would find no comfort in learning that he was as safe as the Bank of England founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.
    Last edited by AlfredJPruffock; 4 August 2009, 07:45.

    Leave a comment:


  • BrilloPad
    replied
    Originally posted by shaunbhoy View Post
    So cyberdud is immensely proud of the fact that Haggis was hugely popular in England right up until the point that this deluded floozie first finds mention of it being hugely popular in Scotland. At which point, for no apparent reason it suddenly became hugely unpopular in England. The long winter nights must just fly by in Chez Cyberman.
    I think he spends most of the time looking out of his windows to see if any of his neighbours have offended him.

    Leave a comment:


  • shaunbhoy
    replied
    So cyberdud is immensely proud of the fact that Haggis was hugely popular in England right up until the point that this deluded floozie first finds mention of it being hugely popular in Scotland. At which point, for no apparent reason it suddenly became hugely unpopular in England. The long winter nights must just fly by in Chez Cyberman.

    Leave a comment:


  • minestrone
    replied
    Originally posted by xoggoth View Post
    Isn't haggis just black pudding with a silly name? Equally revolting anyway.
    I used to have to make it, the day starts off with a delivery of a big bag of hearts, lungs and livers in blood. It kind of goes downhill from there.

    Leave a comment:


  • RichardCranium
    replied
    Originally posted by xoggoth View Post
    Isn't haggis just black pudding with a silly name? Equally revolting anyway.
    No.

    A haggis is all the bits of an animal you don't want to eat stuffed inside another bit you don't want to eat.

    A black pudding is a huge scab.

    Do NOT let Cailin Maith tell you about white pudding. Now that's really disgusting.

    Leave a comment:


  • Peoplesoft bloke
    replied
    Originally posted by xoggoth View Post
    Isn't haggis just black pudding with a silly name? Equally revolting anyway.
    No - they are both fabulous provided you go for quality, but totally different.

    Leave a comment:


  • xoggoth
    replied
    Isn't haggis just black pudding with a silly name? Equally revolting anyway.

    Leave a comment:


  • Prickles
    replied
    Originally posted by b0redom View Post
    So there were no cell nuclei before the Scots invented them?
    That's nothing, man.

    What was life like before Newton invented gravity? Imagine having to hang onto your laydee to stop her floating away.

    They must have been crazy times, man, crazy times.

    Leave a comment:


  • b0redom
    replied
    Originally posted by DaveB View Post
    But the scots did invent :

    ...., cell nucleus, ....
    So there were no cell nuclei before the Scots invented them?

    Leave a comment:

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