Reply to: Curry recipes?

[DaveB]

<snip>

http://www.52best.com/chili.asp

[oracleslave]

“Recently I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a curry cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (couple of local Indians) that the curry wouldn’t be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event:”
———————————–
Curry # 1: Manoj’s Maniac Mobster Monster Curry
JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
FRANK: Holy sh*t, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one.
__________________________________________
Curry # 2: Applesamy’s Afterburner Curry
JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavour, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
___________________________________________
Curry # 3: Farouk’s Famous Burn Down the Barn curry
JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse curry! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO: A beanless curry, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
FRANK: Call the authorities, I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Draino. Everyone knows the routine by now, get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting sh*t-faced from all the beer.
_________________________________________
Curry # 4: Barbu’s Black Magic
JUDGE ONE: Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a curry.
FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burn-out taste buds? Savathree, the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear waste I’m eating. Is curry an aphrodisiac?
___________________________________________
Curry # 5: Laveshnee’s Legal Lip Remover
JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO: Curry using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her curry had given me brain damage. Savathree saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off? It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
___________________________________________
Curry # 6: Vera’s Very Vegetarian Variety
JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance of spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shat myself when I farted and I’m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Savathree, she must be kinkier than I thought. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone! _____________________________________________
Curry # 7: Sugash’s Screaming Sensation Curry
JUDGE ONE: A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of curry peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel damn thing. I’ve lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like sh*t to match. At least during the autopsy they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing, it’s too painful. Screw it, I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just suck it in through the 4 inch hole in my stomach. ____________________________________________
Curry # 8: Hansraj’s Mount Saint Curry
JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend curry, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced curry, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor chap, wonder how he’d have reacted to a really hot curry?

[DaveB]

On a slight tangent, Crispy Shredded Beef with Chilli. No accurate measures cos I tend to make it up as I go along according to how spicy I fancy it.

Prep time : 10 Mins.
Cooking time : 10 mins.

Meat :

1 Pack frying steak - Do NOT bother using good rump or sirloin for this, it's a waste.
Cornflour
Salt / Pepper

Sauce :

Equal parts Soy Sauce, Rice Vinigar, Rice wine, Peanut or sesame oil.
Honey

Chilli Paste or finely chopped / ground fresh chillies. Paste works better though.
Ginger

Vegetables :

1 large onion, sliced
1 Red Pepper, sliced to match the onion.
1 clove garlic, finely chopped.

Oil to deep fry

To cook :

Sauce :

Mix the wet ingredients plus ginger and chilli paste in a bowl according to taste. Leave to one side.

Meat.

Thinly slice the steak, 2-5 mm thick strips.
Season the corn flour with salt and pepper.
Toss meat in cornflour until well coated.
Deep fry until brown and crispy. ( this is why it's not worth using decent steak.)
Drain well and place to one side

Vegetables :

Stir fry the onions, peppers and garlic in a hot wok for 1 minute
Add the sauce and stir untill it starts to thicken slightly, no more than 1 min.
Add the fried beef and stir to heat through and coat everything in sauce.

Serve with rice. You did remember to put the rice on first, didn't you?

[chef]

another more simple idea is Moroccan food

Moroccan Chickpea, Aubergine and Apricot Tagine

1 large onion, peeled and thinly sliced
2 large garlic cloves, peeled and finely chopped
1 teaspoon ground cumin,
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon tumeric
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon paprika
400g tin chickpeas
400g tin chopped tomatoes
300ml vegetable stock
1 large aubergine (around 253g), diced into 1inch cubes
225g halved button mushrooms
100g dried apricots halved
Handful fresh coriander
Sunflower Oil
Salt and pepper to taste

Couscous
Lemon juice
Flat Leaf Parsley, chopped

You will need frying pan and a large thick based casserole dish

• Preheat the oven to 150C/300F/Gas2
  
• Heat a drizzle of oil in frying pan, add onion, garlic and spices and fry over a low heat for five minutes until slightly golden.
  
• Transfer to casserole dish, add drained chickpeas, tinned tomatoes, dried apricots and stock.
  
• Heat another drizzle of oil in the frying pan, add aubergine and mushrooms and fry, stirring, over a high heat until aubergine cubes are slightly browned.
  
• Add aubergine and mushrooms to chickpea mixture. Season with salt and pepper. Stir well and transfer to oven.
  
• Cook for 1.5 - 2hrs
  
• 5-10 mins before serving prepare cous cous as directed on packet
  
• add to cous cous the chopped flat leaf parsley and drizzle of lemon juice to taste.
  
• Serve

[chef]

I was looking for a good Jalfrezi recipe and found this from bbcgoodfood which i tweak with extra chilli's depending on how hot i fancy it..

p.s from experience only use 1 Habanero chilli if you are feeling brave

Chef's Chicken Jalfrezi

The sauce:
1/2 a large onion, roughly chopped
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1 green chilli, chopped
1 tin plum tomatoes
1/2 pint of water
1 tbsp ground coriander
1 tbsp ground cumin
1 tsp turmeric


The meat & veg:
2 or 3 chicken breasts, diced up
1 red pepper, chopped
1/2 a large onion, sliced
2 red chillis or 1 red habanero chilli
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp ground coriander
1 tsp turmeric
2 tsp garam masala
a handful of fresh, chopped coriander leaves

Basmati Rice
Naan Bread
** You will also need a food processor. **

1. Take the chopped chicken and coat it in the cumin, ground coriander and turmeric, NOT Garam Masala, then leave it to marinade in the fridge while you make the sauce.
   
   the Sauce
2. To make the sauce, fry the roughly chopped onions with the garlic and green chilli in a large pan until browned. Add the water to the onion mixture and simmer this for around 20 minutes.
3. While that is simmering, put the plum tomatoes in a food processor and give it a good whizz - aim for a smooth consistency.
4. Heat another large pan and gently fry the ground coriander, cumin and turmeric in a splash of oil for 1 minute max. Add the tomato 'sauce' to this pan and simmer for around 10 minutes.
5. Next give your onion mixture a good whizz in the food processor, then add to the spiced tomato sauce. Give it a stir and simmer for 20 minutes.
   note: You can make large batches of this sauce and freeze it for later use.
   
   the Meat and Veg
6. Fry the marinaded chicken in oil and stir continuously. After a few minutes, turn down the heat and add the chopped onion, the red pepper and chillis. Stir this until the onions and pepper soften (and the chicken is cooked, of course).
7. Add the earlier prepared sauce to the cooked chicken and simmer for around 10-20 minutes. Just before you dish it up, stir in the garam masala and chopped coriander leaves. Serve with basmati rice or naan bread.

Enjoy

Chef

[Pondlife]

Pondlife's Chicken Curry

Easy peasy and tasty

1 tin tomatoes
3 Chicken breasts (or 5 thighs, or combination)
1 medium sized onion
1 lime
2 cloves garlic
Bit of ginger the size of your thumb
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp corriander seeds
1/2 tsp tumeric
2 Tbsp yoghurt
1 scotch bonnet chilli
corriander leaves


Chop onions and start to fry gently in some veg oil
peel & chop garlic and ginger and add to onions
chop chilli and add (inc seeds for extra bum trouble tomorrow)

bash up corriander seeds in P&M
add tumeric, cumin and corriander powder to pan and fry for a few mins (without burning)

Add tin of tomatoes to the pan then fill the tin halfway with water and add.
At this point I use a hand blender to blend the pan contents, I guess its optional but I like it

Bring back to a simmer, then add the chopped chicken and plenty of salt and pepper.

Leave it alone for 30 mins half covered with a lid

taste it for seasoning.
add yoghut and the juice of half the lime. Add the other half of lime juice to taste.

Stir in corriander leaves

eat.


Simples.

[Frogstomp]

At the risk of appearing serious.. Essential Asian Cookbook..

[Coalman]

For easy but nice curry recipes to start with Jamies Ministry of Food is good.

[basshead]

Curry by David Thompson is a fave of mine. Like most curry books there are some ingredients you'll struggle to get but loads of good recipes that are easy to make.

[Platypus]

OK, not for the squeamish, but have you ever smelled an "Anusol"?

Er, apparently a friend of mine has . . . . etc etc

A friend of mine too, but luckily not for several years

[d000hg]

a jar of ASDA chickpea and spinach sauce.

I guess that's the 'secret' filler, to make it look like curry?

I'm not into crazy-hot, Madras is my personal hotness limit. My local curry-house used to do a Jal Korma which was lovely... basically a hot Korma. Best of both worlds... creamy and sweet, but not so boring. Great as a breakfast curry

[wobbegong]

I edited my post, but will own up. Chocolate bullets?

OK, not for the squeamish, but have you ever smelled an "Anusol"?

Er, apparently a friend of mine has . . . . etc etc

[suityou01]

Been there! Can catch you quite unawares! Only time and "the chocolate bullets" help.

I edited my post, but will own up. Chocolate bullets?

[wobbegong]

You think you do. The word haemorrage springs to mind.

Been there! Can catch you quite unawares! Only time and "the chocolate bullets" help.

[suityou01]

I know what you're saying!!

You have no idea.