Reply to: Small children in the office

[TimberWolf]

Someone’s brought a small child to the office. The child has been screaming and wailing all morning. That’s quite logical; children don’t like offices. Offices are boring, stuffy, grey places full of bored miserable adults watching their lives slip away from them. Small children like playgrounds with colourful swings, footballs and climbing frames. What I don’t understand is what would lead anyone to bring a small child to the office. Before you ask; no the child isn’t ill, the woman just thought it would be fun to show off her young child to her colleagues. What a bloody racket.

You should have shown them where the coffee vending machine is located. And the button for extra sugar. They would probably have settled down nicely after a few cupfuls

[GeorgeGregan]

There was a bring your kid to work day a few years back at client site. One conscientious developer type's kids were the model of well behaved, hardly made a sound and spent the day quietly colouring in, web surfing and being introduced to their dad's mates.

The senior manager type's kid was somewhat different, went absolutely berserk, running around the office constantly demanding attention and destroying everything in sight. Was a little disturbing how closely they matched their parent's personalities.

[MaryPoppins]

Someone’s brought a small child to the office. The child has been screaming and wailing all morning. That’s quite logical; children don’t like offices. Offices are boring, stuffy, grey places full of bored miserable adults watching their lives slip away from them. Small children like playgrounds with colourful swings, footballs and climbing frames. What I don’t understand is what would lead anyone to bring a small child to the office. Before you ask; no the child isn’t ill, the woman just thought it would be fun to show off her young child to her colleagues. What a bloody racket.

Argh. Top of my (long) office pet hates list.

[DaveB]

There was some brat howling on the train home the other evening.

I was not best pleased...

Though it did come out with the immortal line "Dad, are we there yet, Dad... Dad.... Are we there yet?"

Story told by Dylan Moran. Mum and kid on the train.

Kid : "Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum...."
Mum : "What is it?"
Kid : "That man has a hat!"
Mum : "Yes he does doesnt he"
Kid : "Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum...."
Mum : "What?"
Kid : "I dont have a hat."
Mum : "No you don't do you."
Kid : "Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum,Mum, Mum, Mum...."
Mum :"WHAT!?"
Kid : "Can I have a hat."
Mum : "Not right now, we are on the train."
Kid : "Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum...."

Mum : "And to think, the first time you said that it made me so happy...."

[lilelvis2000]

When I bring my 3 y/o in the office he has a great time. Its the only time he gets to use the CBeebies webstite.

'course this is my own office and I have 9 PC's for him to use.

However..I don't manage to get anything done as he's always shouting "look daddy! look!" or using the markers to write on the desks and important documents.

[jmo21]

Having no obligation to attend company events is an often overlooked benefit of being a contractor in my opinion.

for me it's absolutely, er..... "looked".

Definitely one of my main reasons.

[zara_backdog]

Took my 6 yr old to the office once as I got alled in for a meeting when I was off work with her when she was under the weather and had no one else to look after her.

The office manager put her in the a spare office with pen and paper.

Meeting went on for about 2 hours and when I got out, she has helping the marketing team putting letters into envelopes and had done a couple of hundred of them ( correct I may add).

The then put about five quid into an envelope for her as her 'Wages'.

She is now 9 and learning 'Front Page' at school building her own website, and is a dab hand doinng powerpoint.

Born Contractor in the making - we all have to start somewhere

[Drewster]

I recall one of the operators had his kid with him in the machine room. What's this big red button do, daddy? *press*

Kids were banned from the machine room thereafter.

You don't need kids to do that....... wasn't that every Operator, Tape Monkey & Print Monkeys "right of passage"........

They couldn't ban them from the Machine Room... so they promoted them!

[NotAllThere]

I recall one of the operators had his kid with him in the machine room. What's this big red button do, daddy? *press*

Kids were banned from the machine room thereafter.

[minestrone]

Last year the guy who sat beside me invinted his parents in to the office. That was very strange.

[Svalbaard]

There are lots of people like that. Back in my permie days I was told that my career would be hampered as I never turned up to company weekend get-togethers or evening jollies. Perhaps my answer wasn’t very tactful; ‘no thanks, I have some real friends and I’ll be spending the weekend with them’.

Having no obligation to attend company events is an often overlooked benefit of being a contractor in my opinion.

[darmstadt]

At my last contract they had a 'Bring your child to work day' which wasn't too bad for me as no-one in the immediate vicinity had one but lunch time in the canteen was sure hell. In fact what they did was shuffle them off somewhere to play with some high tech stuff most of the time and they only went to their parents for a short while.

[BrilloPad]

I have noticed that women who have gone off to have sprogs often come back into the office to show them off. My view is that they do it to get out of the house and to feel better about themselves, or that they have nothing else in their lives other than "the company".

Very tragic.

I cant believe you said that. I took baby BP into the office when he was 9 days old : as I was immensely proud and wanted to show everyone what they supplied the card/money for (We got £130 which was very handy for baby essentials).

Everyone was pleased to see the baby : it was almost entirely men.

Of course there was one killjoy. He said to someone afterwards "why did he bring a doll into the office?". For those who dont know babies deeply asleep take on a waxy doll like quality.

[FSM with Cheddar]

Go over to her and say ....

"I am a little bit worried about my court order. Especially the 200 meters limit."

Then place your hand on her arm and say.

"But I'm sure it will be ok."

She and the child will be out of there in a flash.

Works in restaurants too!

[Mich the Tester]

or that they have nothing else in their lives other than "the company".

Very tragic.

There are lots of people like that. Back in my permie days I was told that my career would be hampered as I never turned up to company weekend get-togethers or evening jollies. Perhaps my answer wasn’t very tactful; ‘no thanks, I have some real friends and I’ll be spending the weekend with them’.