Small children in the office

[Mich the Tester]

Someone’s brought a small child to the office. The child has been screaming and wailing all morning. That’s quite logical; children don’t like offices. Offices are boring, stuffy, grey places full of bored miserable adults watching their lives slip away from them. Small children like playgrounds with colourful swings, footballs and climbing frames. What I don’t understand is what would lead anyone to bring a small child to the office. Before you ask; no the child isn’t ill, the woman just thought it would be fun to show off her young child to her colleagues. What a bloody racket.

[PM-Junkie]

Is there anywhere nearby that sells cattle-prods?

[BrilloPad]

How long has the child been in the office? 5 minutes is fine : anything longer is bad form.

[Mich the Tester]

Is there anywhere nearby that sells cattle-prods?

Good idea. Not here in the big city, but back home in the country I might visit the farmers merchants. Of course I wouldn't electrocute the child, but it's parents might be in for a shock.

[Mich the Tester]

How long has the child been in the office? 5 minutes is fine : anything longer is bad form.

Since 0930 this morning.

[BrilloPad]

Since 0930 this morning.

Time to call social services?

[moorfield]

Mich do you have any phlegm to hand that you can start wiping on your trousers as you stand near it? That should get rid of it.

[Svalbaard]

I have noticed that women who have gone off to have sprogs often come back into the office to show them off. My view is that they do it to get out of the house and to feel better about themselves, or that they have nothing else in their lives other than "the company".

Very tragic.

[cailin maith]

I have noticed that women who have gone off to have sprogs often come back into the office to show them off. My view is that they do it to get out of the house and to feel better about themselves, or that they have nothing else in their lives other than "the company".

Very tragic.

Nope they do it so other women in the office can coo over the new baby and get broody.

However, I wouldn't agree with anything longer than 10 mins, not to mention it turns the men in the office into rabid dogs if the child is a whinger.

[Mich the Tester]

or that they have nothing else in their lives other than "the company".

Very tragic.

There are lots of people like that. Back in my permie days I was told that my career would be hampered as I never turned up to company weekend get-togethers or evening jollies. Perhaps my answer wasn’t very tactful; ‘no thanks, I have some real friends and I’ll be spending the weekend with them’.