Reply to: Money Well Spent?

[stackpole]

You're just making fun of me cos I'm senile aren't you?

I wasn't aware that I was making fun of you.

I have no wish to incur the wrath of the slugs that dwell within the Conchoid of Nicomedes.

[xoggoth]

Oh look! Ian Brady, Ian Huntley, Mira Hindley, Maxine Carr, what difference does it make? you're just making fun of me cos I'm senile aren't you? same with whoever it was, somebody, that person, who was at me last week just cos' I got Animal Farm and 1984 mixed up. Near enough.

Moderators. Please ban anyone who is nasty to me regardless of which letter their name begins with.

[stackpole]

I see in the DT that that whatesrname woman, girlfriend of Ian Brady, costs us £700,000 a year.

I assume you mean Myra Hindley.

She died three years ago, so if your figure is correct, we've actually saved over two million quid since then.

Good news, because instead of paying for her, we can use that money to pay the benefits of up to 30 more immigrants, or to kill one extra insurgent in Iraq, or to pay the pensions of the next five retiring New Labour MPs.

Two million would also have paid for 55% of Tony Blair's new house. That was when he bought it a year ago - he'd probably get change now!

[xoggoth]

Hate the comment on that. "Slugs suck as monsters" indeed! Slugs could be deadly, being so slow and slimy. Just two Great Black Slugs could crawl up your nostrils while you were asleep and suffocate you without you ever waking up. All that is lacking is motive and I have been working on that. If our garden is anything to go by (admittedly it is carefully managed as a natural slug reserve) there are also about 5000 for every one of us. Be afraid, be very afraid!

PS

Now maybe, just maybe, we're dealing with a mutant form of slug here, a kind that eats meat

Mutant? There already are carnivorous slugs, the Testacellidae, this rare group feed on earthworms, centipedes, other slugs and (when they can get them) old ladies.

PPS
A timely prompt. For anyone dying to know the full story of The MUTANT SLUGS from the fifth dimension.

[Joe Bloggs]

Killer slugs on the rampage in a rural community

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093995/

Definately something for you Xog, an 18 rating as well and (apparently) banned in Iceland for some strange reason...perhaps that's where they come from...

[xoggoth]

There a movie about killer slugs? Where can I get a copy?

[vetran]

Channel 330 - Horror Movies - Slugs!

Caught almost 60 seconds of this all time horror classic -on the satellite the other night, killer slugs driven wild presumably by beer traps take over the neighbourhood (via the loo) and eat courting couples. Almost as terryifying as 'spice girls - the movie'.

[xoggoth]

Or stick a big sign on the front of their abodes. "Convicted murderer", "Rapist", "Child molester", "Abetter of foregoing", "...please murder, amnesty provided". Net cost to taxpayer, £120 to Big Signs Limited.

PS I don't like what your smilies are doing. It's disgusting! Same with dragonflies on our pond at moment. Makes me ashamed to be a mollusc.

[Joe Bloggs]

I see in the DT that that whatesrname woman, girlfriend of Ian Brady, costs us £700,000 a year.

Wouldn't it be better then, from a taxpayers point of view, to simply ask all potential criminals to identify themselves, and then offer to set up a trust fund for them providing say (lets be fair) £100k per year as long as they don't commit any criminal acts.

It would be cheaper in the long run and would also avoid all the legal costs, policing, compensation to victims etc.

Indeed the entire criminal processing system, police, investigators, courts, judges, prisons and all the costs going into it could be removed in one stroke... it would save us billions.

[xoggoth]

I see in the DT that that whatesrname woman, girlfriend of Ian Brady, costs us £700,000 a year.

[AlfredJPruffock]

Sounds like a good idea, you start...

Sounds almost like one of those awful HR interviews, where the ask you seming banal but actually loaded questions, ie If you could be a car , which model would you be ?

You know the kind of guff.

So how about, If you could wage war on a country ...which would it be ?

Personally I would wage war on Finland, I need hardly explain why.

[steve'O]

Has he got Chemical Weapons? Or does he just swear a lot?

[n5gooner]

Sounds like a good idea, you start...

I RogerRabit has......

[The Late, Great JC]

How about sqaundering squillions on a futile and illegal War ... ???

Sounds like a good idea, you start...

[AlfredJPruffock]

Lotto rapist protected by taxpayers

The rapist who won £7 million on the lotto is being protected by the Home Office at a cost of thousands

Can you honestly think of a better way for Bliar to be spending your taxes?

How about sqaundering squillions on a futile and illegal War ... ???