Reply to: Sometimes, life is pretty tulipty.

[cojak]

It's all about the recognition of your own mortality.

It has/will happen to us all snaw....

[EternalOptimist]

. Don't really feel like talking to my mates about it as most of them know her and it's not my place to tell them, and my wife is feeling crappy enough as it is.

But you are talking to your mates. We are your cyber mates, the contractor band of brothers.



Sad to hear about all this Snaw, good luck mate.

[TimberWolf]

You're entitled to your opinion TW. I posted this not in the hope of receiving some pity - I'm not feeling particularly sorry for myself - but because I find talking about stuff cathartic, as troll put it. Don't really feel like talking to my mates about it as most of them know her and it's not my place to tell them, and my wife is feeling crappy enough as it is.

I don't particularly like your approach, and think holding all that crap in and 'getting on with it' is worse for you than venting/talking/whatever. But that works for me and I don't assume it's right for you.

You're welcome to talk about it, but like it or not you will have to move on eventually. You don't necessarily need to 'hold crap in' if you can prevent it taking an emotional hold of you. It's literally all in the mind and extensive grieving may not necessarily be good or alleviate the condition, but rather intensify it.

[snaw]

In my opinion it's better not to seek and nurture feelings of self pity and just get on with life. I can't say I am a big fan of the way grief is handled in our society generally. As tragic and as emotional a loss can be, I tend to prefer to just move on ASAP. But pity, whether from self or others, has never been an attractive emotion to me unless it's combined with actual practical assistance.

You're entitled to your opinion TW. I posted this not in the hope of receiving some pity - I'm not feeling particularly sorry for myself - but because I find talking about stuff cathartic, as troll put it. Don't really feel like talking to my mates about it as most of them know her and it's not my place to tell them, and my wife is feeling crappy enough as it is.

I don't particularly like your approach, and think holding all that crap in and 'getting on with it' is worse for you than venting/talking/whatever. But that works for me and I don't assume it's right for you.

[TimberWolf]

The best thing to do is to talk about it.

In my opinion it's better not to seek and nurture feelings of self pity and just get on with life. I can't say I am a big fan of the way grief is handled in our society generally. As tragic and as emotional a loss can be, I tend to prefer to just move on ASAP. But pity, whether from self or others, has never been an attractive emotion to me unless it's combined with actual practical assistance.

[Diver]

You learn to live with loss. dwell on it continuously; and it imperils your sanity and your relationships with others.

Move on, reflect in moments of quiet, and try not to drag those about you down with you is the best advice I can give.

After my last post, I went downstairs, hugged my granddaughter and counted my blessings for the family and loved ones I still have.

I then spent some time in the Joke thread which lightened my mood and lifted my spirits.

Time to move on again, For me and this thread I think.

I'm off to do some finger painting with my granddaughter now.

Later people

[NotAllThere]

In dark times, when I am at my lowest ebb and it seems we live in a godless and uncaring world, I always leave general and go back to tpd.

HTH

[NotAllThere]

The best thing to do is to talk about it. People die all the time. During your life, someone close to you will in all probability die before their time. Even when it's after a full and worthwhile life, it's still a shock. Though I've never really understood it when people are crying their eyes out at great-gran's funeral at the age of 112.

On the bright side, in a couple of hundred years, all that we do and experience will be relegated to genesreunited.

[snaw]

sadness is contagious, don't spread it unnessasarily.

close this post FFS

And sometime sharing is good for you - don't like it, don't read it. It's not hard.

[LittlestHobbo]

sadness is contagious, don't spread it unnessasarily.

close this post FFS

[tay]

Thank goodness Lucy is banned, her contributions to a thread like this would have made me puke.

[milanbenes]

i have two children and can only try to picture the situation Diver was/is in

and it makes me very sad

Milan.

[DimPrawn]

Cheer up, FFS.

[milanbenes]

Diver,

I am very sorry for you

Milan.

[BrilloPad]

In dark times, when I am at my lowest ebb and it seems we live in a godless and uncaring world, I always leave general and go back to tpd.

HTH