Reply to: You make a statement...and then blush

[Chugnut]

Me, my sister-in-law, and her hot (but somewhat naive) friend, we're watching one of those "Top 100" nostalgia programmes on telly. At one point they featured Grifter and Chopper bikes.

Naive lass says "Oh wow! I remember those! It's been years since I've ridden my brother's chopper".

Me and sister-in-law "Mount Etna" our drinks at this point.

[ControlG]

My mother-in-law is from West Yorkshire and she frequently uses the phrase "Hard On" to indicate someone who is fast asleep.

Even after hearing it for over 20 years I still snigger when she says it!

[Captain Jack]

My dear old gran used to be always saying things in public like

"Wheres my pussy?"
"I love my pussy"
"i miss my pussy"
"I love to stroke my pussy"

Us kids used to get a right laugh over it

ps: "Pussy" was her cats name

Your grandmother is Mollie Sugden and I claim my five Grace Brothers' gift vouchers.

I once went into a pub and asked the barman for a double entendre, so he gave me one.

[Not So Wise]

My dear old gran used to be always saying things in public like

"Wheres my pussy?"
"I love my pussy"
"i miss my pussy"
"I love to stroke my pussy"

Us kids used to get a right laugh over it

ps: "Pussy" was her cats name

[basshead]

I'm guessing the word is p r i c k s

[beaker]

I remember one little old lady who used to frequent a pub I used.
She came into the bar one evening.

"....Cyril and I were picking blackberries all afternoon,
Ooh, I've never had so many ****** in me......"

<pub goes silent, she realises what she just said, goes bright red>

"Oooooh!"
<pub erupts>

I don't get it...

[beaker]

In a staff meeting I was attending, the manager said stunning cnuts instead of cunning stunts!

[Bagpuss]

:

Sorry, I can't say I've ever heard of that happening before.

Does it happen to you much?

I reckon he was watching a carry on film, fell asleep and dreamt it. Either that or he doesn't get out much.

[RSoles]

I remember one little old lady who used to frequent a pub I used.
She came into the bar one evening.

"....Cyril and I were picking blackberries all afternoon,
Ooh, I've never had so many ****** in me......"

<pub goes silent, she realises what she just said, goes bright red>

"Oooooh!"
<pub erupts>

[DaveB]

Taking the present Mrs B's grandmother shopping a few weeks ago, she wanted some bird food for her garden birds, so we went into the local pet superstore place.

She walks up to a young lad stacking the shelves and asks him :

"Excuse me love, have you got fat balls?"

Him : Goes bright red and doesn't know where to look.
Her : Doesnt bat an eyelid.
Us : Trying desperately not to collapse in hysterics.

Moral : Little old ladies who have been around long enough that they are past caring what anyone thinks are not to be trusted in public places.

[Marina]

When I first came to Denmark and didn't quite know the language, on the cycle races when about to lap they'd shout "bagfra", and I got used to shouting it as a warning when about to overtake, one day I shouted this on the cycle path on my daily commute and got a really odd look from this lady as I passed.

So when I got to work I asked what it meant: "from behind", yeah OK, so what's the problem?

Some months later in a more intimate mileau I discovered it's meaning is more like "doggy style"

I'd have guessed bagfra vas a variant of "bag frau" or "bag lady", which would have explained why the lady gave you an odd look.

Just shows - "For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, elegant, and wrong."

[NotAllThere]

I get problems with the German words for gay (as in nine bob note) and humid, schwül and schwul...

That's why I don't use either word. I can never remember which is which.

[darmstadt]

I was discussing snow conditions with some German women, and said it was a bit mushy. They didn't know the word, so I looked it up on the dictionary on my pda. "weichlich".

'mushy' is also a German slang word for a woman's private parts.

I get problems with the German words for gay (as in nine bob note) and humid, schwül and schwul...

[51st State]

I once went to HMV and asked the pretty young lady behind the counter "Have you got Laid by James?"

[threaded]

When I first came to Denmark and didn't quite know the language, on the cycle races when about to lap they'd shout "bagfra", and I got used to shouting it as a warning when about to overtake, one day I shouted this on the cycle path on my daily commute and got a really odd look from this lady as I passed.

So when I got to work I asked what it meant: "from behind", yeah OK, so what's the problem?

Some months later in a more intimate mileau I discovered it's meaning is more like "doggy style"