Reply to: They grow up so quickly these days

[BoredBloke]

My son would say 'Short @rsed cockeny get' when he heard the name Dennis Wise. He still does. I also used to pick him up and gently shake him and he would say 'woodward woodward woodward woodward' in recognition of that famous nanny Louise Woodward. I don't do that one anymore as he is 10 and too heavy.

[DaveB]

My girl is almost 3 weeks old and hasn't said a word yet? I'm training her hard to say daddy first.

Mate of mine tried to get his son to say "More beer, bigger women". One of my brothers is making a concerted effort to get the other brothers' kid to say "Daddy is a twat".

[TheFaQQer]

Let me guess, you let him post on here as "ElectricChair"?

[NickFitz]

Let me guess, you let him post on here as "ElectricChair"?

[oracleslave]

23.

It was vodka.

[BrilloPad]

Your girfriend is four - who are you? Gary Glitter?

very funny -

my gf picked up the twins from nursery school. The twins are aged 4

[oracleslave]

Your girfriend is four - who are you? Gary Glitter?

I see what you did there.

[BoredBloke]

my gf picked up the twins from nursery school aged 4. She asked what vegetable they had for snack - answer "f**king carrots" in unison.

gf complained(along with other parents) next day - a few older children were birched for that.

Your girfriend is four - who are you? Gary Glitter?

[BoredBloke]

I can't remeber many of his speaking milestones as he hasn't shut up since he learnt how to speak. I do remeber that he counted to 10 when he was 10 months old.

Well I say counted

it went

Me: 1
James : 2
Me: 3
James : 4
Me: 5
James : 6
Me: 7
James : 8
Me: 9
James : 10

He also said that he wanted twenty twelve Lychees from Tesco when he was 2. When I told him that wasn't a number he said that it was, it was 32.

When he was 3 they tested him at nursrey and he stopped counting when he got bored at 102. When the teacher asked him what was next he said 103 but in a voice to say 'are you stupid'

[BrilloPad]

my gf picked up the twins from nursery school aged 4. She asked what vegetable they had for snack - answer "f**king carrots" in unison.

gf complained(along with other parents) next day - a few older children were birched for that.

[xoggoth]

My kids learnt from playing Leisure Suit Larry

[RightLaugh]

My eldest daughter's first word was "bugger".

When she was about 2 and a half, I was sitting watching telly with her, and she sighed and said "It's so ******* hard, Daddy".

I blame the parents

[Moose423956]

My eldest daughter's first word was "bugger".

When she was about 2 and a half, I was sitting watching telly with her, and she sighed and said "It's so ******* hard, Daddy".

[TheFaQQer]

She must have misheard you.

As my wife was driving on the motorway the other day, someone signalled to let her out but didn't actually move, and she nearly hit him.

Cue voice from the back:

DD1: Mummy, what's a wan**r?

[TheFaQQer]

Bi - although surely she is too young for you to tell?

How old is she?

Nearly 18 months.