Reply to: the dos and don'ts of office life

[jo99]

that reminds me .....make sure you get a good chair and ask for a workstation assessment so that you can get the best gear....

[ladymuck]

The women will love you if you have a decent watch (rolex, philippe patek, you get the drift), a tie worth more than the GDP of Ghana and cufflinks forged from unobtainium.

Or you could just buy them doughnuts and cream cakes.

Make sure that, regardless of what you call your stapler, you put your name on it and guard it carefully.

Under no circumstances make eye contact with the person who looks after the stationery cupboard.

[jo99]

Unfortunately I'm not contracting on this one, that would have been too much to expect; but when I do contract again, a flashy car is top of the list.

now you tell us!

[gables]

As a freelancer you've got to set the right image from the start. If you don't own one, hire a Porsche for your first day's arrival. And ensure your shirt pocket is stuffed full of £20s.

Unfortunately I'm not contracting on this one, that would have been too much to expect; but when I do contract again, a flashy car is top of the list.

[DodgyAgent]

and don'f forget to talk about your world trip....

Though keep the two years spent at her majesty's pleasure to yourself

[jo99]

As a freelancer you've got to set the right image from the start. If you don't own one, hire a Porsche for your first day's arrival. And ensure your shirt pocket is stuffed full of £20s.

and don'f forget to talk about your world trip....

[jo99]

That might be difficult if you're a woman. All the geekier men (and this is IT) will run away from you.

and your point is?

[NotAllThere]

As a freelancer you've got to set the right image from the start. If you don't own one, hire a Porsche for your first day's arrival. And ensure your shirt pocket is stuffed full of £20s.

[VectraMan]

How about making a list of men and rating them on geekness?

That might be difficult if you're a woman. All the geekier men (and this is IT) will run away from you.

[gables]

Don't ask stupid questions.

should've seen that one coming

The rest are more like it, keep em coming. Oh I'm not a bird.

[jo99]

How about making a list of men and rating them on geekness?

[VectraMan]

unless you are a woman - we do exist - really we do.....

Then definitely do what I said. I can't imagine a better way of making friends with your male colleagues.

The women might not be so impressed.

[SueEllen]

unless you are a woman - we do exist - really we do.....

No we are invisible

[jo99]

Spend your first day working on a chart listing the attributes of all the women in the office. Then spend your second day working out a way of ordering it.

Everybody will like you after that.

unless you are a woman - we do exist - really we do.....

[Newbie000]

Don't name your desk stapler "Mohammad".

You could be stapled to death for insulting stationary.