Reply to: My first "Unconscious Bias" mandatory training course endured

[vetran]

I didn't mean your attackers, silly

Having never been in a fight, or had any serious confrontations, I am always fascinated by tales of how these things happen.

Sorry feeling kind of guilty and wanted to explain I never started it, one really shouldn't revel in the excitement - see below.

Key point - I have never looked for a fight, for a start there is always someone out there harder and importantly more willing and able to hurt someone than you are. Red mist aside.

The Scot kicked me in the eye until I saw the boot I had no idea I was in a fight, as I said he had a reputation for fighting, he liked to piss off paras and he won. If I hadn't put him in the hospital I would probably have been dead or disabled. If My mate and the barman hadn't stopped him I would have probably been dead he was really mad. I know now he was sick but then I had embarrassed him and he wanted to hurt me in a big way.

How it happens in my experience. You are having a drink with your mates and some saddo you don't know thinks he will look cool (and feel great) if he causes a fight. Its knocking a pint over, barging into you, accusing you of looking at THEIR girl wrong etc. As I was big for my age but shy and wore glasses they assumed I was easy prey.

Admittedly having nutter mates doesn't help but I liked my friends and they didn't normally look for trouble, it sort of searched them out.

Normally I try and talk my way out of it as it may not end well for one or both. Sometimes it costs a drink or a swift exit frequently taking your glasses off, straightening up and your mates standing in a phalanx with you is enough as he knows his mates will run.

At school it is simple bullying and to top the hierarchy requires you to beat up other people, I ended up hitting back at one bully after the 100th time (having reported it to the school repeatedly who did nothing - hence my mistrust of teachers) the bullying then stopped, apparently a black eye is more effective than a teacher saying "of course x isn't bullying you now go play nicely" to the both of you for the nth time. I ended up in a load of trouble but I was no longer afraid to go to school the bullies gave me a wide berth.

Later I became more than acquaintances with the bully, I never really became friends, I could never forgive him for what he did to me and others though he had changed, I just was waiting for the other boot to drop even though he did extend the olive branch.

The Adrenaline high is incredible, even if you lose, beats any drugs I ever tried and most stupid things I have done, just remembering it gets you slightly high. Hence my shame.

You know when you watch criminal minds or Hannibal and you sit there trying to work out how they could do these perverse things to other human beings? I am pretty sure the adrenaline rush is a big part of the addiction. Maybe an injection that fixes the high would be effective?

[ladymuck]

The two that attacked me were hardly friends, the bloke that pissed off the biker was a prat and my best mate at the time.

I didn't mean your attackers, silly

Having never been in a fight, or had any serious confrontations, I am always fascinated by tales of how these things happen.

[vetran]

It must be hard for you that someone is slighting you and you can't physically assault them.

Good attempt at back-tracking. You couldn't resist my post as an opportunity to try and impress people how handy you are.

Oh you were trying to be funny? Why would I want to beat you up? You are just a keyboard wimp who would need new underpants if the door shut quickly.

It was intended to explain that the people that attacked me didn't know me and I didn't provoke anyone, I thought the idea of someone attacking me thinking they would get off with a friend of mine who didn't fancy boys was funny, the fact that he nearly killed me and vice versa was scary. I thought the fact that the booze did it was sad.

We did laugh about running through the woods away from a bunch of nutters after my mate slipped one of their girlfriends a length. I'm surprised he didn't get me in a lot more tulip, he was a nut, like many of my peers our ways parted when he went to prison.

My mate who was being attacked wasn't in a fit state and is effectively a pacifist, what should I have done stand back and let him be beaten up? I am not built that way.

I wasn't handy, just fecking angry at feckwits who thought beating up people was funny and tried to get me involved, I suspect you would have been a lot like them at school, a sad little bully when you had your bigger mates around who egged them on, there were plenty of them around when I was a kid I didn't care for them much.

As I said they started it, I tried to talk my way out of it, or walk away, they insisted, I finished it thanks to a blood red mist, I was lucky I didn't hurt anyone seriously, the scot nearly died which still scares the hell out of me.

As per my previous post no one deserves to be attacked, that includes me and my friends, it happened a lot when I was a kid to plenty of nice people maybe I went to a rougher school and didn't fag for the older boys. But I am careful where I am and what is around me because of these experiences which was the point of my original post. People are a lot less likely to suffer if they suspect the worst, its not PC , its not cuddly but it is real.

[vetran]

Sounds like you needed to know how to look after yourself with friends like that

The two that attacked me were hardly friends, the bloke that pissed off the biker was a prat and my best mate at the time.

[d000hg]

I was talking to the congregation, sniping posters don't impress me much especially when they aren't funny.

It must be hard for you that someone is slighting you and you can't physically assault them.

Good attempt at back-tracking. You couldn't resist my post as an opportunity to try and impress people how handy you are.

[ladymuck]

I was talking to the congregation, sniping posters don't impress me much especially when they aren't funny.

I thought the tales would amuse a few people. Scotch John (the laundry guy) always reminds me how drink is a poor friend. The first muppet was determined to bully my mate and my idiot mate nearly got me killed, he did cost me a 10 mile walk in the pissing rain..

Sounds like you needed to know how to look after yourself with friends like that

[jamesbrown]

homophone

If you drink any more of that dye, you might die.

[vetran]

technically, it was dh000g who asked...

I was talking to the congregation, sniping posters don't impress me much especially when they aren't funny.

I thought the tales would amuse a few people. Scotch John (the laundry guy) always reminds me how drink is a poor friend. The first muppet was determined to bully my mate and my idiot mate nearly got me killed, he did cost me a 10 mile walk in the pissing rain..

[ladymuck]

you asked. Just a few of the highlights of my very much misspent youth with a bunch of nutters as mates.

technically, it was dh000g who asked...

[vetran]

right -oh

you asked. Just a few of the highlights of my very much misspent youth with a bunch of nutters as mates.

[jainnode]

Oh they don't even have to officially meet me.

Well first one was a chap who started attacking my mate who is so laid back everyone loves him, to top it off he was stoned so completely defenceless. I waded in and asked this chap to stop attacking my friend, the muppet took a swing at me all I needed, I kept putting him on the floor until he stopped trying to hit us. Didn't even know his name.

Second chap I knew vaguely from my local, he was a nasty drunk and frequently turned psycho, most people avoided him as he was trouble when he drank. I was at a party sitting on the floor and chatting to one of the barmaids from said local, who I had known for years (shared friends). This bloke tried to kick me in the face because I was chatting to her, I think he thought he would have a chance with her if he showed his macho side, her girlfriend might have been upset about that. Again I had to defend myself.

When he got out of hospital he came after me with a mini jack (pissed again), my friend and the barman (a big feck off ex squaddie) convinced him it was a bad idea to try a rematch.

He eventually went teetotal, married a fellow alcoholic and went to run a laundrette in Scotland, to be fair he came and apologised before he moved up there, we parted on good terms.

Most of the rest of time I talked myself out of these situations or ran like feck .

I did nearly have an issue when drinking with some hells angels and they realised my mate was shagging one of their girlfriends (mad fecker) , Usain Bolt would have been impressed at our speed.

right -oh

[vetran]

On average, how long after people meet you do they want to assault you?

Oh they don't even have to officially meet me.

Well first one was a chap who started attacking my mate who is so laid back everyone loves him, to top it off he was stoned so completely defenceless. I waded in and asked this chap to stop attacking my friend, the muppet took a swing at me all I needed, I kept putting him on the floor until he stopped trying to hit us. Didn't even know his name.

Second chap I knew vaguely from my local, he was a nasty drunk and frequently turned psycho, most people avoided him as he was trouble when he drank. I was at a party sitting on the floor and chatting to one of the barmaids from said local, who I had known for years (shared friends). This bloke tried to kick me in the face because I was chatting to her, I think he thought he would have a chance with her if he showed his macho side, her girlfriend might have been upset about that. Again I had to defend myself.

When he got out of hospital he came after me with a mini jack (pissed again), my friend and the barman (a big feck off ex squaddie) convinced him it was a bad idea to try a rematch.

He eventually went teetotal, married a fellow alcoholic and went to run a laundrette in Scotland, to be fair he came and apologised before he moved up there, we parted on good terms.

Most of the rest of time I talked myself out of these situations or ran like feck .

I did nearly have an issue when drinking with some hells angels and they realised my mate was shagging one of their girlfriends (mad fecker) , Usain Bolt would have been impressed at our speed.

[d000hg]

Having twice been assaulted by near strangers

On average, how long after people meet you do they want to assault you?

[courtg9000]

I hope you billed for attendance

[OwlHoot]

Don't forget, it's not enough to be non-racist these days, one has to be not anti-anti-racist (I think).

2012-02-22 Oxford University students are told it's not enough to be non-racist and they need to be actively anti-racist