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Previously on "Bad Sex Awards 2019"

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  • mb31
    replied
    Order Order

    Leave a comment:


  • GJABS
    replied
    Originally posted by mb31 View Post
    I've had one leaflet through the door from Mr Speaker and nothing from any other party because his seat is uncontested.
    Could your wife stand against him?

    Leave a comment:


  • mb31
    replied
    I've had one leaflet through the door from Mr Speaker and nothing from any other party because his seat is uncontested.

    I can't fault his pledge to "Use his position as speaker to make Chorley's issues a priority at the heart of government"

    What more could you ask for? I hope he does a good job of chairing the Brexit debate during whatever spare time he can muster.

    My alternative is to vote for the Raving Looneys. They have policies like "We will paint grey squirrels red to increase the red squirrel population".

    Leave a comment:


  • GJABS
    replied
    Originally posted by GhostofTarbera View Post
    Lol

    Are you hoping for a “hung” parliament ?


    Sent from my iPhone using Contractor UK Forum
    I am.

    With Boris the bear, Jo S-twink-son (female) of the Liberal Democrats, Ian Blackford of the SNP (daddy), and Corbyn the dirty old man, I don't have any love for any of them.

    I've only got eyes for Nigel

    (you may pass the sick bucket..)

    Leave a comment:


  • GhostofTarbera
    replied
    Originally posted by GJABS View Post
    I have. But mb31's wife's got a beard and an Adam's apple, so doing her is easy
    (Joke!)
    Lol

    Are you hoping for a “hung” parliament ?


    Sent from my iPhone using Contractor UK Forum

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Originally posted by Zigenare View Post
    I thought you'd turned into a battyboy?

    You met Mrs MB? she makes Mrs Ass look attractive.

    Leave a comment:


  • mb31
    replied
    GJABS this will be standard issue in my household Monday to Friday. Enter at your own risk.



    ..chastity belt.. - Yelp
    Last edited by mb31; 28 November 2019, 14:01.

    Leave a comment:


  • BrilloPad
    replied
    Originally posted by LondonManc View Post
    All in the same 15 minutes according to her....
    They were different exs. And I need a 3 month recovery time these days....

    Leave a comment:


  • LondonManc
    replied
    Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
    In the actual bad sex awards(instead of fiction), I won the top 3 places. All with ex-mrs-bps....
    All in the same 15 minutes according to her....

    Leave a comment:


  • ladymuck
    replied
    Originally posted by GJABS View Post
    I have. But mb31's wife's got a beard and an Adam's apple, so doing her is easy
    (Joke!)
    You owe me a new keyboard

    Leave a comment:


  • GJABS
    replied
    Originally posted by Zigenare View Post
    I thought you'd turned into a battyboy?
    I have. But mb31's wife's got a beard and an Adam's apple, so doing her is easy
    (Joke!)

    Leave a comment:


  • BrilloPad
    replied
    In the actual bad sex awards(instead of fiction), I won the top 3 places. All with ex-mrs-bps....

    Leave a comment:


  • Zigenare
    replied
    Originally posted by GJABS View Post
    Easy. I go round and shag your Mrs when you're away, then call you and tell you all about it
    (Hold the phone in your left hand)
    I thought you'd turned into a battyboy?

    Leave a comment:


  • LondonManc
    replied
    A woman chatted me up last night and asked if I'd like to have sex. I had to disappoint her, so we had sex.

    Leave a comment:


  • GJABS
    replied
    Originally posted by mb31 View Post
    I'm new to contracting and will be working away from home all week away from my Mrs.

    How do contractors manage without sex during the long spells away from home?
    Easy. I go round and shag your Mrs when you're away, then call you and tell you all about it
    (Hold the phone in your left hand)

    Leave a comment:

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