Reply to: Post Christmas Cracker Joke!

[EternalOptimist]

Whats got two thumbs, speaks French with a Geordie accent, and likes a BJ

























Moi man

[freakydancer]

Are you sure you got that one out of a Christmas cracker?

Scouts honour!!

[cojak]

How do you get a fat bird in to bed?

Piece of cake.

Are you sure you got that one out of a Christmas cracker?

[MobileCheese]

How do you get a fat bird in to bed?

Piece of cake.

Hahahaha like that.

Ive got another, Im not a homo-phob (cant spell it), but what do you call a 'Gay Dinosaur' ? ..... Mega-sore-arse ...

[DaveB]

Two Parrots, sitting on a perch. One says to the other "Can you smell fish?"

[freakydancer]

How do you get a fat bird in to bed?

Piece of cake.

[SallyAnne]

One snow man turns to another snowman and says "Can you smell carrots"?

[MobileCheese]

Why are pirates called pirates ?



Because they arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (in a pirate tone)

[Ardesco]

I always wondered how you spell psychopath.

It was written that way to make it look like cycle path, i'm not a complete moron. Honest.....

[EternalOptimist]

why do elephants have big ears ?



























because noddy wouldn't pay the ransom

[hugebrain]

For all you sci-fi fans

Q. What is E.T. short for?
















A. Because he's got little legs.

[darmstadt]

Q When is a door not a door?


A When its a jar, boom boom!

[PerlOfWisdom]

I always wondered how you spell psychopath.

[sasguru]

A young man goes into a pub one day, and as he walks through the door he see hundreds of roads standing around drinking. There are A roads, B roads, country lanes, in fact all sorts of roads drinking away. The man walks up to the bar and gets a drink and is just looking for a seat when the door opens and a dual-carrigeway walks in.

All the roads shuffle out of his way letting him get to the bar to order his drink. Five minutes later the door swings open again and in walks a motorway, king of the highways. The country lanes and B roads scatter to allow him to pass with his huge bulk and he swaggers up to the bar and orders himself a drink. Five minutes later the door opens again and a tiny weedy little road wanders in.

The whole pub suddenly goes deathly quiet and the roads scatter out of the way. The dual-carrigeway dives under a table and the motorway runs to the wall trying to squeeze himself against it. The young man looks at the little road again as he wobbles up to the bar slowly looking quite out of breath. The young man looks over to the motorway shivering and sweating and says "Whats is the matter with you. You are a motorway, king of the roads!! You are the biggest and most powerful road in here, why are you running away from that litle runt. The motorway replies "oooo you want to watch him mate, he's a cycle path!!!"





(and for those who don't get it, cycle path - cycopath)

YSGYC=You SHOULD get your coat

[Ardesco]

A young man goes into a pub one day, and as he walks through the door he see hundreds of roads standing around drinking. There are A roads, B roads, country lanes, in fact all sorts of roads drinking away. The man walks up to the bar and gets a drink and is just looking for a seat when the door opens and a dual-carrigeway walks in.

All the roads shuffle out of his way letting him get to the bar to order his drink. Five minutes later the door swings open again and in walks a motorway, king of the highways. The country lanes and B roads scatter to allow him to pass with his huge bulk and he swaggers up to the bar and orders himself a drink. Five minutes later the door opens again and a tiny weedy little road wanders in.

The whole pub suddenly goes deathly quiet and the roads scatter out of the way. The dual-carrigeway dives under a table and the motorway runs to the wall trying to squeeze himself against it. The young man looks at the little road again as he wobbles up to the bar slowly looking quite out of breath. The young man looks over to the motorway shivering and sweating and says "Whats is the matter with you. You are a motorway, king of the roads!! You are the biggest and most powerful road in here, why are you running away from that litle runt. The motorway replies "oooo you want to watch him mate, he's a cycle path!!!"





(and for those who don't get it, cycle path - cycopath)