Reply to: Being depressed as a contractor... how to gather myself?

[northernladuk]

It only said you were worthless pondscum, wouldnt worry about it.

Oh. Was that all? I had a feeling knowing the OP's previous posts it would have been a lot more juicy.

[password]

Here's how I got triggered the other day.

Was in a cafeteria where they were selling Star Wars memorabilia. As I was having a look, the otherwise pleasant attendant asked if I was thinking of buying something for my GRANDCHILDREN FFS!

Yes, I'm plenty old enough to have grandkids but that was the first time in my life that somebody has ever identified me as being in that particular demographic.

Left me feeling for days. Seriously. Best get used to it I guess.

A few weeks after my daughter was born I was in a local cafe with the mrs (And daughter). Lady behind the counter said "Its lovely to see grandparents like that".

I told her she was my daughter - should have seen her face.....

To be fair, I was 45 so an "older" parent.

(Note, in case anyone is considering its bloody hard work having a 5 year old when you're 50!)

Both these posts are why I do not ever offer my tube seat to elders based on appearance / perceived age. Some of you older folk are probably in better shape than I, as young as you feel and I don't want to offend anybody.

If you have a crutch, walking aid, other visible impediment or pregnant you will be getting my seat.

I have to agree with GJABS

The moment you stop seeing yourself as a person with value and simply as a commodity to be used and thrown away then you will struggle with self esteem.

I can see what Cirrus is trying to say but you may as well have just said 'Man Up'

This concept some people have which seems to be that being a ****** makes you some sort of hard nosed legitimate business leader as absolute bollocks.

Agree, to a point. If you're a flailing mental mess then it may not be worth it to the end client to accommodate you.

On the other end, I recently started a new role and was up front about my previous role which I was very absent from. I simply said I was burnt out but fine now.

Regardless of what we are, being treated as a human with feeling will probably in most circumstances help you work better, which is ultimately what the end client wants.

[MarillionFan]

Weren't we able to see the history of a changed post? I thought I saw it on the app when it was updated?

It only said you were worthless pondscum, wouldnt worry about it.

[northernladuk]

deleted

Weren't we able to see the history of a changed post? I thought I saw it on the app when it was updated?

[Andy2]

deleted

[original PM]

I have to agree with GJABS

The moment you stop seeing yourself as a person with value and simply as a commodity to be used and thrown away then you will struggle with self esteem.

I can see what Cirrus is trying to say but you may as well have just said 'Man Up'

This concept some people have which seems to be that being a ****** makes you some sort of hard nosed legitimate business leader as absolute bollocks.

[GJABS]

At the start of the day, at the middle of the day and at the end of the day you are a contractor.

You must concentrate on that. Work hard to be positive, confident and resilient. If you lose your job - and you will if you start to show cracks - your life will just get worse.

A lot worse.

Do not let anybody see your inner turmoil. It's just a question of play acting. Try hard. Concentrate. We're not patients; we're doctors. You must stay in the role.

Sorry but this is just bad advice. Very often the mental turmoil is there to warn you that something is wrong - it can often be a signal that you have lost a battle within a contract, and need to get out. Be glad that clients can get rid of you, and you them, easily - it is a safety valve.

Putting a brave face on things is what you do before you get depression. Depression is what you get when that tactic hasn't worked.

[Cirrus]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

We contractors are people too at the end of the day..

At the start of the day, at the middle of the day and at the end of the day you are a contractor.

You must concentrate on that. Work hard to be positive, confident and resilient. If you lose your job - and you will if you start to show cracks - your life will just get worse.

A lot worse.

Do not let anybody see your inner turmoil. It's just a question of play acting. Try hard. Concentrate. We're not patients; we're doctors. You must stay in the role.

[northernladuk]

A few weeks after my daughter was born I was in a local cafe with the mrs (And daughter). Lady behind the counter said "Its lovely to see grandparents like that".

I told her she was my daughter - should have seen her face.....

To be fair, I was 45 so an "older" parent.

(Note, in case anyone is considering its bloody hard work having a 5 year old when you're 50!)

Cool story bro... Thanks.

[psychocandy]

Here's how I got triggered the other day.

Was in a cafeteria where they were selling Star Wars memorabilia. As I was having a look, the otherwise pleasant attendant asked if I was thinking of buying something for my GRANDCHILDREN FFS!

Yes, I'm plenty old enough to have grandkids but that was the first time in my life that somebody has ever identified me as being in that particular demographic.

Left me feeling for days. Seriously. Best get used to it I guess.

A few weeks after my daughter was born I was in a local cafe with the mrs (And daughter). Lady behind the counter said "Its lovely to see grandparents like that".

I told her she was my daughter - should have seen her face.....

To be fair, I was 45 so an "older" parent.

(Note, in case anyone is considering its bloody hard work having a 5 year old when you're 50!)

[SlimeInTheIceMachine]

Here's how I got triggered the other day.

Was in a cafeteria where they were selling Star Wars memorabilia. As I was having a look, the otherwise pleasant attendant asked if I was thinking of buying something for my GRANDCHILDREN FFS!

Yes, I'm plenty old enough to have grandkids but that was the first time in my life that somebody has ever identified me as being in that particular demographic.

Left me feeling for days. Seriously. Best get used to it I guess.

[BlueSharp]

Looking at the couch to 5k thing but not sure if "couch" describes me.

More of a "Lazy fat greedy bastard whos mega unfit"

That's exactly who it's targeted at. Start off easy little more than a 30 second run/jog every couple of minutes. When you comfortable move on to the next week/level.

[Old Greg]

Looking at the couch to 5k thing but not sure if "couch" describes me.

More of a "Lazy fat greedy bastard whos mega unfit"

You'd run fast enough if the Job Centre was about to close.

[psychocandy]

How did the couch to 5k go? Started it myself recently, but the snow has come... so taking a pause at week 5

Looking at the couch to 5k thing but not sure if "couch" describes me.

More of a "Lazy fat greedy bastard whos mega unfit"

[password]

Thanks for the initial commentary guys, I had forgotten to response until the recent messages.

Obviously not good to hear others are having problems but it has at least given me an albeit little solace to know I am not alone.

We contractors are people too at the end of the day..