Reply to: Gizza gig

[vwdan]

Funny enough there is nothing to do in High Barnet, unless you like doing ambulance spotting. That's a hobby I guess to pass time

I did a stint over at Elstree - I did a lot of running (and drinking) to pass the time.

[BlackCountryContractor]

Should move to sluff central its <30 minutes and the crime is pretty low.

Funny enough I did seriously consider slough but only problem I had a awhile back was that as soon as I got a deposit ready most of the places I viewed got snapped up which was a royal kick in the teeth.

[vetran]

Found it was cheap to live (with onsite parking) and crime isn't bad so I thought mustn't be too bad plus with trains straight into central london about 40-50 minutes travel time.

Should move to sluff central its <30 minutes and the crime is pretty low.

[BlackCountryContractor]

So why are you there then?

Found it was cheap to live (with onsite parking) and crime isn't bad so I thought mustn't be too bad plus with trains straight into central london about 40-50 minutes travel time.

[BR14]

Funny enough there is nothing to do in High Barnet, unless you like doing ambulance spotting. That's a hobby I guess to pass time

So why are you there then?

[vetran]

There's an outside?

yeah and the houses under £500k are bigger than a Garage.

[vetran]

You can have this one....

Luxury, one agent took 20 minutes trying to convince me that running some financial midget's BI in the square mile was paying well at £35k. They did offer season ticket loans I said they would chuffing have to because that much wouldn't keep Miss V in Strawberries.

[vetran]

I'd be happy to give you one.

and your missus won't charge?

[BR14]

Current "Product Owner" asked how it would be possible to deliver the current system in 2 years rather than the 15 years based on "Story Points" and "Sprint Velocity".

I foolishly suggested it would be possible if we increased our productivity by 750%.

So that was presented to the board, and they agreed we should do that.

yeh, the old 'we need a baby in a month! PM -ok, we'll get nine female contractors'

[ladymuck]

eight hours???

[greenlake]

Bored day at the office

[DimPrawn]

Are you any good at delivering projects that have 4 incapable PMs all running round in circles who like to change project dates on a whim and don't grasp the concept of "It should be possible in about 12-18 months", thinking that means "it will be done in 3 months"?

If so, sure, I'm up for a swap.

Current "Product Owner" asked how it would be possible to deliver the current system in 2 years rather than the 15 years based on "Story Points" and "Sprint Velocity".

I foolishly suggested it would be possible if we increased our productivity by 750%.

So that was presented to the board, and they agreed we should do that.

[BlackCountryContractor]

As little as possible?

Funny enough there is nothing to do in High Barnet, unless you like doing ambulance spotting. That's a hobby I guess to pass time

[WTFH]

I think I have been to High Barnet. Once.

Anyone else checking Urban Dictionary on this one?

[ladymuck]

I think I have been to High Barnet. Once.

Sent from my arse using Contractor UK Forum mobile app and magic