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Previously on "CUK's top ten tips for contractors"

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  • BrilloPad
    replied
    Originally posted by mudskipper View Post
    46: Don't mention the McCanns
    47. Don't mention Nelson Mandela

    Leave a comment:


  • LondonManc
    replied
    Originally posted by WTFH View Post
    You're not married, are you?
    Over 15 years. But have you seen the cleaner at our place? He's a minger.

    Leave a comment:


  • WTFH
    replied
    Originally posted by LondonManc View Post
    You've done a night shift?
    AYCOTBAC?
    You're not married, are you?

    Leave a comment:


  • LondonManc
    replied
    Originally posted by darmstadt View Post
    Don't let anyone know that you shagged the cleaner in the stationary cupboard while on night shift
    You've done a night shift?
    AYCOTBAC?

    Leave a comment:


  • darmstadt
    replied
    Don't let anyone know that you shagged the cleaner in the stationary cupboard while on night shift

    Leave a comment:


  • Churchill
    replied
    Originally posted by mudskipper View Post
    46: Don't mention the McCanns
    I did once but I think I got away with it.

    Just like the McCanns...

    Leave a comment:


  • Troll
    replied
    If you want loyalty, get a dog - hop to the highest paying gig at renewal if no rate increase

    Leave a comment:


  • Churchill
    replied
    Originally posted by mudskipper View Post
    Not true. I've had plenty of renewals.
    There's an exception to every rule.

    Leave a comment:


  • LondonManc
    replied
    Inside IR35 contractors:
    Originally posted by Lockhouse View Post
    I've found these rules to be remarkably effective in gaining more business.

    1. Turn up on time.
    2. Do what you're supposed to do.
    3. Be where you're supposed to be.

    Not much else to it.
    Outside IR35 contractors:
    Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post
    Indeed.

    1. Turn up out of the blue, vanish whenever you feel like it.
    2. Do what is interesting and will get you a better paid gig, ignore the rest.
    3. Work from home whenever the client manager is out of office.
    Yes, it really is that easy.

    Leave a comment:


  • DimPrawn
    replied
    FFFE. Don't leave your Bugatti keys on your desk next to the photo of what looks like a footballer's mansion with a beautiful fashion model standing by the grand entrance.

    Leave a comment:


  • mudskipper
    replied
    46: Don't mention the McCanns

    Leave a comment:


  • Pondlife
    replied
    Originally posted by northernladuk View Post
    Sounds like D&C to me that.

    'A proper contractor is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.'



    No wait. That's wizards.

    Leave a comment:


  • DimPrawn
    replied
    Originally posted by northernladuk View Post
    Sounds like D&C to me that.
    Indeed.

    1. Turn up out of the blue, vanish whenever you feel like it.
    2. Do what is interesting and will get you a better paid gig, ignore the rest.
    3. Work from home whenever the client manager is out of office.

    Leave a comment:


  • northernladuk
    replied
    Originally posted by Lockhouse View Post
    I've found these rules to be remarkably effective in gaining more business.

    1. Turn up on time.
    2. Do what you're supposed to do.
    3. Be where you're supposed to be.

    Not much else to it.
    Sounds like D&C to me that.

    Leave a comment:


  • unixman
    replied
    1. Never leapfrog a unicorn
    2. If something untoward starts happening, don't overreact. Contracting experience will tell you what is reasonable in different circumstances.
    3. "Untoward" stuff, if it ever happens, usually happens only with the shortest and lowest paying gigs.
    4. Don't flaunt your knowledge as better than permies', even when it is, unless absolutely necessary for the benefit of the client.
    5. Learn from permies too.

    The above could be summarized: act in the best interests of your own business.

    Leave a comment:

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